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Expert Q&A

	By Elizabeth Pantley Child Behavior Expert Better Beginnings, Inc.

My 7-month-old daughter is so attached to me that she cries when I leave the room. It's making it hard on my husband who can't hold her without her crying. I stay at home with her and she even cries sometimes when I am a few feet away from her. It makes it impossible to get anything done. Any advice?

Your daughter is at the prime age for the beginning of separation anxiety. It's natural for her to want to be super-glued to your side since you're the one she spends the majority of her time with.

Here are a few tips to gently ease her towards more independence:

• Don't push her away. The harder you push, the more she'll cling. It's much more productive if you acknowledge her need to keep you close while encouraging her to venture away from you. When her daddy wants to play with her, for example, start by having her on your lap as he engages her attention. As she becomes more involved with him try to hand her over, if she clings, then go back to your lap and ease her gently over to him.

• If you want her to begin to play by herself, use this same idea. Sit beside her and engage her in a toy or activity. Then move yourself away -- just a few inches -- and sit quietly and watch. If she seems comfortable, then move a bit further away, returning to her side if she shows any sign of anxiety. Eventually you'll be able to move an entire room away for brief periods! And, as she learns that you're never too far away, she'll be more comfortable away from you.

• When you move away from your daughter keep voice contact by singing or humming. This lets her know that you haven't completely disappeared!

• Never slip away from your baby when she's not looking! The sneak-away technique might buy you a few minutes, but when she realizes that you're gone she'll be very upset! Always say "bye bye" even if it means she'll cry a bit.

• Make sure that you are giving signals to your baby that everything is fine. When you send a peaceful message your baby will pick up on your mood and often mirror your emotions.

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