She is realizing that her voice and actions make an impact. What a wonderful realization to know that one can make that much noise and get attention! The fact that this is a normal and an exciting experience for your child does not make it any easier to deal with, I'm sure. She knows that she wants certain things and is unable to ask for them or get them whenever she wants. This is extremely frustrating. The goal in this developmental stage becomes one of teaching our children how to get things they want and how to deal with the frustration when they don't get it.

This is also an egocentric stage, which means that she needs to be very focused on herself and what is happening for and to her, right now, in the moment. She is investing most of her energy in learning and exploring her environment and her relationships. Walking and talking are two new and exciting experiences for an 18 month-old to grasp. Now she gets to explore the world around her and she is overjoyed and frustrated with that prospect!

As her mobility, voice and muscle use grows she comes face-to-face with boundaries and limits of others, which are usually prefaced with "NO." Her main reaction to the frustration of these boundaries is screaming or lashing out physically. All we have to do as parents is teach positive, appropriate alternatives. Easier said than done!

Here are some suggestions:

• It is important for parents to use "no" when you really mean it and when you have exhausted other alternatives. Save it for the really serious offenses.
• Try ignoring, re-directing and letting your child react to not getting her way. She will need to learn her screaming causes problems and has consequences.
• Use logical and natural consequences to teach her other choices. If she screams, she doesn't get that toy for the next hour or has to play something else.
• Explain the limits using a choice format. This allows your toddler to make a decision rather than always be told what to do.
• Give her alternatives to screaming. She can find another toy and play with something else.

Often, children need to get mad and deal with the reaction themselves and we need to let them do that. Don't step in too quickly to take over. You may need to tolerate the screaming as you teach new alternatives and establish consequences for the serious screaming. Be nurturing and firm as you teach your child to decrease their screaming by giving them other ways to react to the frustration. With these new options and knowing the consequences, she will decrease the screaming and learn to express herself in a clear, confident way.

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