Maybe for a while you need to re-define your definition of "play." Your baby probably thinks he IS playing with you. From this age until they have firmly established their independence -- some as late as 7 years old -- children usually have a program to explore the world -- which means you have been a VERY good mother! You are basically at this point his "home base" with which he checks in now and again to make sure you're there. Play is his work. Your job is mainly to follow him around, watching him work.

This is when I took up making quilts, so I wouldn't be bored senseless just sitting there while he merrily did "his" work. Your job as "home base" is an important one! It is the thing that allows him to be comfortable exploring the world around him. One thing I did was to take him to different environments for exploration -- different parks, other people's houses (those who weren't fussy about decor or kids), etc. I also gave him household objects (safe ones like big plastic containers with lids, smooth wooden spoons, water for splashing, etc.) -- all, of course, with me watching and cheering. He'd make up endless fantasy with his action figures (which he called "figgers"), having to rescue them from drowning in the bowl of 2 inches of water, stirring rubber food items into the bowls, making ovens out of cardboard boxes, etc.

I also got moving-van-size boxes to make playhouses by cutting holes for windows and covering them with old fabric. These boxes were free from a moving company when I pled my case. We went through a phase of Books on Tape with the books to read along with them, and the technology was fascinating. He'd sit in his "playhouse" and listen to his Book on Tape, knowing mommy was just outside, working on her quilt on the sofa and checking in now and again. Later, mommy or daddy told a bedtime story which was NOT replaced by the tape player, however, and replacing it was never requested. There are tape players just for kids with big colorful buttons they can work themselves and feel very grown up.

I would also allow my child to "help" make the evening meal by stirring things, real or imagined, at my feet. Another thing I did was get an old fashioned wagon and slowly pull him around the neighborhood, allowing him to get out and explore now and then, following him like an anthropologist follows monkeys. Trying not to constantly warn, advise and admonish but rather attracting attention away from piles of dog poop and other no-nos. Sometimes I'd have to go to the stern "no," and gave reasons, even if I felt he didn't understand them, and physically remove him from some danger or fascinating object. But don't be afraid to allow him to fall down, get a few scrapes now and then; it will build his courage and resilience to see he can encounter these "owies" and you won't over-react with too much sympathy, but you will help him, let him cry and then get on with playing, knowing that "owies" are part of being independent.

So many of the most important things we do as moms are boring as you-know-what and so they seem like doing nothing. But by doing "nothing," we are helping our child find his independence in safety and thereby fostering his growth. I had to put a rein on my mother's voice coming out of my mouth constantly admonishing and advising "no no no," "don't do that, do this," etc. I think now it was just because she was bored. Light reading doesn't hurt, peeking over your book to observe. Often you get "Moooom, look at meeeee!" because the child WANTS that silent observer, it represents the part of himself that is his deeper or higher self watching over him.

Try to see yourself as this child's "guru" or teacher who is there to observe and guide, mostly silently, and that this is some of the most important work you do, regardless of reward or recognition. You will see it when he grows up; I certainly have. And I wouldn't trade it for the world, even though in those days we were so pinched for money I could have used a job to help pay the bills.

Plumb your imagination for new and different, inexpensive play every week. You'll come up with all kinds of wacky, fun ideas. Going to the zoo or aquarium can be fun. But if your ideas don't turn out like you planned (for example, your child suddenly becomes intensely afraid of the zoo animals) don't force him; let him decide what he wants to do.

Once we were planning a walk in the beautiful fall to collect different colored leaves for an art project for Daddy. But the minute we got out the door, the wind was blowing dead leaves across the street. My little boy became hysterical, crying and screaming, "Turtle monsters, turtle monsters! No! No!" and clinging to my skirt. We went back into the house, elaborately barred the door against the dread turtle monsters, and I read him a "Little Bear" story that directly related to fears of things that were perfectly normal but looked like something big bad and scary. Successful re-route. I just had to be flexible enough to surrender my plans and go with his flow, not feeding his fear but addressing it obliquely. We ended up doing an art project, depicting the story we just read. My son drew Little Bear and the Turtle Monsters. You see, we are called upon to be teachers every day nearly 24 hours a day. It is exhausting but oh-so rewarding. Take it from somebody with two adult children who are beautiful, strong, independent and can still teach their mom a thing or two.

You could also consider forming a playgroup with other moms who have kids around your boy's age, and take turns watching all of them (no more than three) for an afternoon or morning or whatever so each mom gets some time to herself every few weeks.

All of these ideas are age-dependent and can be modified as such. You probably have some good ones of your own.

Soon enough your child will delight in playing with you again, especially if you can retain your presence in the here-and-now and follow his lead rather than trying to impose your idea of "play" on him. In this area, he is the expert and you must be the willing student. It will thrill him to no end, teaching you how to play. And just when you are getting comfortable with that, he will reject you for his peers! Flexibility is one of the greatest hallmarks of good parenting. It sounds like you are already doing a fantastic job.

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