Research shows that even when young children cognitively understand stranger danger, in actual situations their inclination is to trust. Part of the problem is that people who might hurt children are experts at conning them. Although this sounds discouraging, you need to remember that you ARE doing your job. Some of it is probably getting through. The best thing on your side is that the statistical odds of her being hurt by a stranger are very remote. Children are more likely to be hurt by people they know. You have to leave some of this up to faith or the powers that be.

You don't want your daughter to become too fearful. She needs to enjoy her childhood without being afraid of everything. Discernment about good and bad people will come with time, and you can make an ongoing game of it. If she is friendly with a stranger who is acting appropriately (not overly friendly) have her give the person a trust rating. Help her notice the red flags of people who go out of their way or act angry.

There is a downside to the warning about strangers. My daughter was one of the rare children who did learn not to talk to strangers (more because of her cautious nature than anything I did). When she was very young, she got lost at a beach with hundreds of campers that looked exactly alike. Several well-meaning strangers tried to help her but she would not look or talk to them and wandered helplessly trying to find my husband and myself while we were in a total state of panic. Finally, some instinct must have taken over, and she told a stranger she was lost and within three minutes we were back together.

Every time my daughter rode her bike around the block I was scared, but I told myself I would not let the craziness of this world rob her of her childhood.

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