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November 17, 2002
Hi everyone,
When I last left off I was hemming and hawing over what to do about child care for Sam. First of all – thanks for all the great advice on my TTM board and via email. Last week I visited several daycares with a list of questions gleaned from your advice. I am not sure what I was expecting. I know I just wasn’t expecting them to be so SMALL. And I know that babies don’t need much space -- but nine of them do, don’t they?
Let me tell you about the best one. It was in a nice community centre which had a nice gym, a restaurant etc. in it. The daycare was tucked behind a pass code door. There were four rooms for different age ranges. I went to the baby room, which is for kids up to 18 months. It was nice and clean, and about the size of your average living room. The floors were hospital tile with a few of those blue gym mats for the kids to play on. They take nine kids. They have three very qualified workers who have been there for a while. There is a separate, sound proof room with the cribs in it. They kept everything organized by child and they had a white board for a daily report to parents. What didn’t I like? Well, the size, for one. I didn’t like the fact that the adults wore their street shoes on the floor that the kids play on (surely they wouldn’t do that in winter??). And the toys were all pretty old. Maybe that’s normal? I mean, babies don’t really need new toys I guess. I put my name on the waiting list here, although they don’t have openings until July.
The worst I visited? Well, it was BAD. I showed up early (as I did for all of the appts). And when I walked in the baby room there were 12 kids in there and one worker. In Canada there is a law that requires a 3-1 ratio for care of children that age. As soon as people saw me come in, three other teachers came running form different areas of the daycare. The place was carpeted and covered in cereal and other food forms. The kids were covered in food. The cribs were in the same, small room, strategically placed under the fluorescent lighting for the place. Tonnes of toys, completely age inappropriate. And older kids kept wandering in. Plus, there was no lock on the door, you walk right from the outside into the baby room, and anybody could do it. It was in a strip mall next to a convenience store!
However, completely coincidentally this same week, I got a call from a girlfriend at the ad agency I used to work for. She had decided to quit her job and open a small day home. She lives literally down the street. I thought about this hard a bit, because she doesn’t have kids of her own, but then I thought about my best friend who’s the world’s best nanny and she doesn’t have kids either. And saying she doesn’t have kids isn’t fair, she has two step kids who they have three days a week (they are 5 and 8 now, and she’s been with her husband for three years). She is a neat freak and is impeccably clean. When they bought their house they took the front room with its cathedral ceilings and bright, large windows and instead of making it into a formal living room, they gated it and made it into a play room. Her husband is a web designer, and they have installed web cameras in the room so I can check on Sam from work any time. They have converted their spare room into a sleep room. So I think we will give her a try, most of all because I KNOW her. I know she wouldn’t hurt Sam which is primary in my thoughts. Plus I know the other moms whose kids she is taking. If it doesn’t work out, we might switch to that first daycare. But it’s a starting point. I am going to start sending him there half days right away, then one day a week in January before the four day a week thing in February.
Sam is really crawling very well now – backwards!!! I can’t believe how he motors in the wrong direction. And he keeps getting more and more frustrated because he gets further and further away from his target. Plus, he can’t see where he’s going and he seems to always wedge himself under the ottoman. Kind of cute really. He is getting increasingly verbal – his latest happy noises are repeated, staccato squeals. They are very short, very sharp and very loud. But they’re signs he’s happy so that makes me happy.
Yesterday, for the first time EVER, Sam scarfed down his food!! He’s only been eating cereal willingly until now. Well, yesterday for lunch, I gave him that chicken casserole goo in a jar, and he ate half a jar! Then I gave him pears, which before were on the hated list. Again, half a jar! Have we turned a corner on the food thing? Has he decided to expand his pallet? Well, we’ll see in an hour when it’s time for lunch again.
Oh, and I guess I should give a sleep update. Thos two-two hour naps I spoek about last entry? That lasted all of two days. And he was still falling asleep on his bottle. Well, he now puts himself to sleep for all of his naps. So what did I do? Well, after reading way too many books, getting advice from sleep gurus such as Jeanette, and listening to other friends, I figured we had to figure out a way to do this. He has been going down and sleeping fine at night, so naps are my problem. So here is my modified routine using bits and pieces from every source I could get my hands on! When he gets sleepy (believe it or not his sleep cue is that he starts to stare at the TV – which is perpetually tuned to TLC!!), I pick him up and we head upstairs. We do a few little routine things like pull the blinds to “goodnight Mr. Sun” and place his dog “Puddles” into his crib (I’m trying to get him attached to a lovie). Then I turn on his music CD and we walk the hall for two songs. Then I give him a kiss, lay him in his crib, cover him up and turn on his aquarium. Then, of course, he starts to cry. I tried just Baby Whispering him, but he would cry before he was even laid back down, so I bit the bullet and let him cry. I do not let him cry himself hysterical or sick or for very long – my maximum is five minutes. After two days of having to pick him up and put him down a few times every nap. He now cries for one minute after I lay him down and then he settles down. I HATE listening to him cry, and I am still not sure if it’s necessary, but I don’t feel too bad with my 5 minute time limit. So yes, he does put himself down. But no, he is not sleeping any longer. Ergs. Generally it’s still a 30 minute thing – on the button. And I try to get him back down for a half an hour every time before I give up. That’s only worked two or three times where’s gone back to sleep, for maximum another half hour.
I have also put him back on three naps a day. I thought by cutting him down to two naps he would sleep longer (which he did for two big days!). Nope, he was just getting less sleep, being done with napping earlier in the day and being frantic for sleep by 8. I am hoping that given another week or so he will rarely cry at all when I put him down for a nap, and maybe soon they’ll lengthen? He has been sleeping better this week at night, I think because he puts himself back down when he stirs at night, instead of calling for attention (which he only did every few nights, so that wasn’t even really a problem). Who knows. I’ll let you know the progress next week!
Well, that’s all for now! Congratulations to Jenny on the birth of Katherine Grace! I am very excited to see pictures.
Jenn and Sam
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