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Introduction
SISTER'S HERE
On Saturday I picked up my little sister, Kathy, from the bus station. Plane tickets were just too expensive this time of year, and she doesn't mind the bus (all the way from Montana to Tennessee!!! I've made the trip on a bus and it STINKS!) Anyway, Kat had quite the adventure, and I picked her up and took her directly to Pancake Pantry, Nashville's best breakfast restaurant. It was so good! I had chocolate chip pancakes and they were awesome. I ended up having lunch there on Monday with Leslie from Mom's Today, who also works in Nashville, so that time I had strawberry pancakes and OMG they were great. And it was great to see Leslie again, and her sweet husband.
So anyway, now I not only have my mom at my house, my dad there during the day (he stays with Lou's parents), Kathy is here for a month. It's crowded at my house!!! But fun and I have plenty of help with Jake and my family is always good about helping with housework. (Thank goodness!)
PITCHING A FIT
Well, I've had my first taste of Jake pitching fits in public, and I have to say it's hilarious. I didn't let him see my amusement, of course, and they were minor incidences, but it is SO funny to see him assert his opinion and get so mad for not getting his way. (This coming from the horrible mother who couldn't stop laughing when her child tried to grab something on the Christmas tree and lost his balance and fell under the tree. He wasn't hurt, just a little surprized. He looked hilarious under there.) We were in Walmart doing some grocery shopping, and standing in line to check-out was taking forever so we let Jake play with a bouncing Tigger toy on display by the line. He was having such a good time with it, and when we tried to take it away he held on to it tighter and then took off running. It was so funny. My sister kept trying to take it away and he just kept holding on to it and trying to get away. Then in church on Sunday after the piano recital we were letting Jake play with a basketball and he would throw it, then run around chasing it and he was just having a blast. When we went to leave he held tight to it and started SCREAMING when we took it away. He was so mad. He eventually calmed down but he was mad for quite a while.
But to his credit, when I took him in to Walmart we let mom and Kathy shop while Jake and I waited to get his hair cut . . . We sat down and he wanted to get down and play and of course I couldn't let him run around in there, so I held him a little tighter and whispered in his ear "You can NOT get down right now, you need to sit here with me until it's time for your haircut" and he just sat there on my lap for like 10 minutes, just chillin' out! (I think that's good for a 15 month old who wants to explore, especially for a child who doesn't "chill out" unless he's almost asleep.) The lady who cut his hair kept telling me how well-behaved he was, and of course every mother loves to hear that! Of course then he pitched a fit over the Tigger, but whatever. ;o)
It is important to note, however, that when we're at home and he pitches a fit, we either ignore him until he's acting better, or I get down on the floor and pitch a fit with him and he thinks it's so funny he stops. I swear to God when he's older if he pitches a fit in the grocery store I'm going to get down with him and pitch one too and embarass him so bad he'll never pitch another fit again. heh.
HAIRCUT
Jake's haircut is super-cute -- I left the front alone and got the back cut very short (which actually evened everything out). It always gets messy and fuzzy in the back and I hate messy hair. Now it's nice and neat and he looks like such a little boy instead of a baby (moreso than before.) He knows where his hair is, too -- when I ask him where his hair is, he pats his head. When I ask him where MY hair is, he grabs my bangs (gently, of course) and runs his fingers through them. Cute cute. And he's fascinated with noses right now -- still tries to stick his finger up mine, but will point to everyone else's.
PUZZLES
Jake can put together puzzles! I am shocked at the things he learns when I am at work. Puzzles that have one place for one piece (like a farm animal puzzle with 9 different animals) he can totally do. Sometimes you need to point to where one goes, but he's learned in the last week how to put the pieces where they go and turn them until they fit. Then he looks up with a huge grin on his face and sometimes claps for himself. Self-esteem is not going to be a problem with this child -- when we're at church and he hears clapping (like on Wednesday nights at dinner), he assumes everyone is clapping for him and he looks around with a smile on his face like he just
walked into a surprize party. What a goof.
ROAD TRIP AND FAMILY
We're going to Indiana for the weekend the 20th. Kathy and mom are going to come with me, which should be interesting (a family roadtrip . . . who wants to take bets on how long it will be before we get into a fight?) I don't know why but they both insist on trying to tell me how to run my life and house, and when I interject with "it's my house!" or "he's my child!" they think I'm being a snot. (And it's not like I'm incapable of making decisions or running a household -- I'm intelligent, have a college degree and I'm 25 [almost]! Come on!) My mom is wonderful for Jake and I really like my little sister, but when the two of them get together they gang up on me and it's so frustrating. We have a bunch of strong-willed control freaks in my family! But I'm excited to get to see my cousin Kimmy, who gave birth to her 3rd child, Aaron, on November 20th. Her son Isaiah is a little older than Jake, and her daughter Courtney will be 3 in March. Can you imagine having 3 under the age of 3? I would go crazy, but she's great with them. Kimmy is my favorite cousin and I love spending time with her. We write each other letters all the time, but there's just something about sitting around and talking for hours and letting the kids play. I can't wait! I'm also going to buy a digital camera tomorrow so I can take tons of pictures of the kiddos while I'm there. Jake has such a fun time playing with his little cousins, they get along really well (at least they did in August.)
My parents have a prospect for getting their house sold, nd they've changed their mind about which one they're going to get here, but they ARE moving forward and making progress, so that's good. I love having them with me but it will be wonderful when they have a house of their own and we can all spread out a little. My house being the staging area for 6 people now is just a little much and the clutter is getting to me!!!
JAKE
I'm finding more and more that Jake is a very adaptable child. He warms up to people in no time, and then he will let them be the center of his world for as long as he needs. Then if they leave, he'll settle for whoever is left! When my mom got here it didn't take long for him to become her shadow, but when she goes somewhere and it's just me and him, he'll let me cuddle him and take care of him like he used to. (If mom's there, though, he runs to her.) Now that Kathy's here he follows her around, too, and loves her attention. He's so funny. There's a guy at church who is really fun, his kids are like 11 and 9, and he just loves the babies. He'll pick Jake up and play with him and Jake just looks at him for a second, realizes that he's perfectly safe with him, and sits there in his arms. I'm so glad Jake is friendly and happy. And he's getting a lot better about not getting mad when we leave him in his Sunday School class.
Jake is still obsessed with baths. If we are holding him and we pass by the kitchen sink, Jake points to it and says "ba? ba?" and we have to tell him "No, you had a bath yesterday" or "no, Jake, you had a bath 10 minutes ago, you can't have one now." (In addition to being adaptable, he's extremely suggestable, too. If he sees a banana, he thinks he's hungry for one. If someone is drinking something, he thinks he's thirsty. I hope he grows out of this by the time he understands commercials, because he's going to be sorely disappointed when I won't buy him all those things commercials make you think you need!) Jake gets really mad when we won't let him take a bath. He also gets mad when he wants to go outside -- he brings us his coat and hat and shoes and we have to tell him it's too dark or cold or we're just simply not going out again and he gets mad until we distract him. He won't talk much but he communicates what he needs and wants. He brings us diapers when he's just peed or pooped, and when we take off the diaper he says "yuck" then helps us take the bad ones outside.
CHRISTMAS PONDERINGS
I've starting thinking about next Christmas, because by that time Jake will be old enough to understand about Santa Claus . . . I don't know if I want to tell Jake that Santa is real. I just feel bad about the thought of lying to my child and making him believe in something that he's going to be completely disappointed about when he finds out the truth. If you find out too young it's heart-breaking and if you find out when you're like 9 everyone makes fun of you. And yes, I know that the whole Santa thing is fun and magical, but I also feel like it's just part of Christmas being commercialized and makes the focal point for the season something it shouldn't be. I know I sound like a total dork here, but I am really concerned about raising Jake to be a good person, and part of that is to not be selfish and materialistic, which sometimes I think happens when we spoil our kids excessively, i.e. make them think that Santa is capable of bringing them anything they dream up. Isn't it better to explain that the family has a set amount of money budgeted for Christmas and ask your child to tell you a few things they would like to recieve, then buy some of the things for them, in addition to some surprizes? (I am not saying that believing in Santa doesn't make you a good person -- I hope no one twists this around and gets offended. Believing in Santa is fun, I will admit that. I'm just trying to figure out what's right for us.) And while I'm at it, do I teach Jake that the tooth fairy and Easter bunny are real? This parenting thing is complicated sometimes. Does anyone have thoughts on this? (and be nice, I'm not trying to be a scrooge, I'm just trying to reconcile the conficting thoughts in my mind on this subject.)
GROWING BOY
Jake's fast growing out of his remaining 12 month clothes, and now is out of some of his 18 month shirts. I'm sad to see some of these outfits go, and even sadder to be looking at 24 month clothing. It's so big! My baby can't be this big yet! He has such an interesting little body. His legs are really muscular, like his daddy's (lucky boys!!!) and his stomach doesn't really pooch out like most babies, but it's there. I don't like that I can see his ribs, but he eats non-stop and we make sure we balance not necessarily each meal but what he eats over the course of the day, so I know his weight is fine. Jake's hands and feet are fat -- ok, wide -- and his toe nails grow so strangely! I cut them straight but they grow crooked and some grow faster than others. I try to stay on top of keeping them trimmed and clean, but it's hard! I think his molars are finally coming in, I can see their shapes in the gums. I love his 8-toothed smile!
My mom has taught Jake to smile in a way that is a sweet smile for the camera, but then he'll "cheese out" and smile really wide and scrunch his nose so you can barely see his eyes. He does it all the time now, it's hilarious. I think he does it because he knows he can get a laugh. But I hope he'll still smile pretty and not obnoxiously every once in a while!
CHURCH FRIENDS
Jake finally figured out how to say "bubble" (we play bubbles at church.) (I just realized I talk about church a lot -- I do Wednesday night childcare at my church for the toddlers to make extra money so we play there a lot, and we try to make it on Sundays. I grew up in church and I honestly love going. I love the people, the music, the way it feels to just sit quietly and think of something bigger than myself . . . it's an important part of my life. I go to a pretty liberal church, though, it's not like I'm one of those people who thinks women shouldn't wear pants or that you shouldn't watch TV.) Anyway, our friend Ryan at church says bubble all the time and I'm glad Jake can now. Ryan is 2 months older than Jake, and it's so hard not to compare the two of them. It doesn't help that Ryan is honestly an extremely bright child and very verbal. His mother, Jennifer, said that at 12 months he had over 50 words (and she only counted because "mama" was like 55th.) Jake has maybe 20 words right now -- which is fine for a little boy at this age -- but sometimes in the back of my mind I want him to catch up to Ryan. And a 2 month age gap at this age is HUGE developmentally, and knowing more words doesn't make Ryan better and I can't stand when mothers use their children's accomplishments to validate their existance and think their child is better than other people's . . . so why can't I just be ok with the fact that Ryan talks a lot and Jake chooses not to? *sigh.* I don't know. My mom always expected me to be the best at everything and I'm glad she set high standards but I also felt like I was never good enough and I don't want Jake to feel that way! I'm very proud of him for who he is and I think he's wonderful, bumps and all.
As you can tell, I've been doing a lot of deep thinking lately. I go through phases where I'll just breeze along without a care in the world, then all of a sudden have a big "but what does it all mean?!!" crisis and nothing makes sense for a while. Hopefully it will pass soon. ;o)
FRIDAY
Ok, I'm not alone in the Santa Claus thing, because last night my friend Priscilla came over and I asked her about it -- she didn't even hesitate, said "no, I'm not going to tell her Santa's real." And in talking about it with her, another thing occured to me -- how is a 5 year old going to reconcile Santa bringing him a simple toy truck and an apple when his friend gets a PlayStation2 and 6 games for it? And some kids don't even get visited by Santa because their parents can't afford it. Wouldn't it be better to tell your child this and go get a name from an Angel tree and buy someone else who actually NEEDS something new a Christmas present? It also came up that WE want the credit for buying the cool toys, not some imaginary character we've made up. ;o)
Priscilla's baby Elauna is such a joy -- she's 9 months old, and adorable. (There's a link to the page I made for her at the bottom of Jake's webpage, (http://www.thebabycorner.com/sites/webs/strangejen/index.html)
Anyway, Elauna babbles constantly, and loves to stand up and actually takes a few steps now and then. She has big blue eyes and is just so sweet! She has long hair around her face, so when she comes to our house I put it in a barrette out of her face and that looks adorable. Jake gets jealous sometimes when we're playing with her, especially if she has certain toys of his, but he's getting so much better at playing with her. She's like 19 pounds and he's 26, so understandably I'm always telling him to be careful around her. He very carefully steps around her so he doesn't bump into her when he's running around. That makes me proud -- I want him to be considerate of other people's feelings (which is really hard for younger kids because they're so egocentric and don't understand yet that other people HAVE feelings). Yesterday he sat down next to her with a puzzle and pushed it over so she could reach it and looked at her like "do you want to do this with me?" It was so cute. When we put Elauna in Jake's high chair to eat Jake stood by her and kept playing with her feet, and she would bounce them around and he'd try to get them. And they say that kids this age don't play together. ;o) I love how vocal Elauna is -- my mom was sing-songing "da da da da da" and Elauna would totally copy her every time, rocking back and forth. She can say "duck," too. And she gives big, open-mouthed kisses if you ask for one. It's so nice to have a mama friend who lives 2 miles
away and who I have so much in common with, and that her daughter is a wonderful playmate for Jake (and we really get a kick out of her, too!!!) Lou doesn't like having people over, but I love having company, we have so much fun when they come over.
Anyway, I'm going to get this post up today, I have all next week off work and I do all my computer stuff here at work. Happy holidays to all, still sending happy restful thoughts and prayers to Moms Today Kelly, who is recovering from a C-section. Hugs and love to all.
Jen
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