 | Diary Navigation:
|
January 9, 2004
Ok, I've GOT to get an entry up but I'm SO BUSY, so I'm going to post for our trip to Indiana Dec. 19th through 22nd, and I'll catch up on the rest later next week (hopefully!!!).
Friday, December 19th
CAMERA SHOPPING
Friday at work I spent some time figuring out exactly what camera to get. I'd decided on a Kodak after talking to a dad at my students' piano recital and looking at his camera. I was deciding between the K6330 and the next one up -- there was basically a difference in $80 and I wanted to see if it was worth the extra money. I looked at the specs on them both and the 6330 really seemed like it was going to work best for me, it was listed most everywhere at $199 (which isn't bad, it's a 3.1 megapixel.) Then I started calling around to the electronic stores in my area to see if they had them in stock -- Circuit City was out, but Best Buy had them, so that's where I went. Thinking that $200's not bad for a camera I got it and was ready to buy it then realized I needed a memory card -- $50 -- and rechargable batteries with recharger -- $20 -- so it actaully ended up costing me $300, which totall blew my budget for the month, but I wanted a digital camera and now I won't waste so much money on film so it's all good! I was so excited to open it up and play with it.
BEVERLY'S OPEN HOUSE
I've written about Beverly before, but to let you know who she is: my husband's mother's brother is Uncle Roger. His wife is Aunt Julie. HER mom is Beverly, so she's twice removed from being related to us, but we consider her another grandmother for Jake. She's a wonderful person, so sweet, and you would not believe her Christmas open house. She starts decorating in October and
literally has every square inch of her house decorated for Christmas. It's gorgeous. She has an open house every year so her friends and family can come and look at all the decorations (they change from year to year!) and so everyone can get together and socialize. Mom came with Jake and I, and she was pretty impressed. Jake did really good at not touching (or destroying) anything, and he was happy to run around and explore. He likes to walk up to people, stand there for a second, and then run away. Everyone got a kick out of that. Well, and he kept lifting up his shirt and showing off his tummy for some reason, which was hilarious to everyone but me. He also kept running back to the food table to get little blocks of cheese. He's so funny. He spent a lot of time on my mom's lap, and I had fun taking pictures with my new camera, but as I look for them now I can't find them! :o( Lou had to reformat the computer twice over Christmas vacation and I think he forgot to back them up. I'm going to try hard not to be upset about that.
Saturday, Dec. 20th
TRIP TO INDIANA
We got up in the morning hoping to get an early start, and we got out of the house by about 5 a.m. Jake slept a good part of the way, and I drove an hour until we got over the Kentucky border. We stopped at the Welcome Rest Stop, and mom got behind the wheel because I was just tired. (Dude, I'm always tired.) We drove until the Indiana border and stopped at the next gas station/truck stop/restaurant thing and let Jake run around and burn off some energy and got some snacks. He stayed awake the rest of the way to our cousin's house, which was 2 more hours away. I sat in the back with him and kept him amused by reading books, playing with Elmo (yes, we brought Hokey-Pokey with us), singing songs, eating crackers . . . whatever it took. He did really good and I was proud of him, but I
definitely don't like travelling with a toddler. It made me feel really bad to make him sit there for so long.
We finally got to my cousin Kim's house, where I got to meet baby Aaron for the first time. Aaron was born on November 20th, so he was a month old. He has dark hair and looks exactly like his brother, Isaiah, did a year and a half ago as a newborn. Courtney, the two-and-a- half year-old (gorgeous little redhead) was thrilled to see us and have more people to play with. Kim's brother, Andrew (he's 15), was also there, helping her watch the kids. (Kim is the second oldest of 10 kids. I
have a lot of cousins.) Jake really liked Andrew for some reason and kept wanting to climb on him. I like that Jake's not afraid of new people. It takes him about 30 seconds to realize they are safe and friendly, and then it's all good. Courtney was so funny -- she's such an oldest child.
She kept wanting to lead Jake around by the hand, drag him all over the house to find something to play with.
Kim's husband Jim and I decided to go get some KFC for everyone for lunch, so we drove off in their van, which gave us a chance to talk. Jim is a big, quiet guy (although when you get to know him he doesn't shut up, and he just lost 50 pounds, so he's working on the big), and he and I
have always gotten along. If I get him alone he'll tell me how they're really doing and not sugar coat it, and I've been concerned about how they're coping with 3 kids and 1 income. He said that he just got a raise and that work is going really well, so they're not doing as bad as they were.
And we talked a little about the Hancock family in general (mom and Steve are Hancocks -- they're the oldest 2 of 8 kids, and really they're the only ones that are close to normal.) -- I feel kind of bad for those who marry into our family, because we're so out there. We have some wonderful,
loving people in our family, but we also have a lot of dysfunction and substance abuse (in our extended family, none of the people I'm close to), people on welfare (not that there's anything wrong with that in some circumstances), just a lot of messes. I have an aunt who is pregnant with her 5th child by the 4th guy, she has never worked, barely takes care of her kids, and she's a
complete slob. She will spend her welfare money on alcohol and cigarettes before buying her children food . . . it upsets me and disgusts me all at the same time. Anyway, Jim's the one who will actually tell
me what's going on, so we had a talk to catch me up.
DINNER WITH EMMIE
It was my mission to see all of Uncle Steve's 10 kids over the weekend (ok, except for Jared, who is my age and lives in Ohio. He's just going to have to come see me.) So I called Steve's house and asked if I could take the little girls out to eat -- Emily is 10, Melanie is 13. They're the youngest, aside from Caleb who is 8. It's not that I don't love Caleb, but I wanted
some girl time. Melanie was baby-sitting some friends, so I just got Emily -- I drove out the 10 miles to their house in the country and got her, then we went to Steak & Shake. I brought Jake with me, which really was a mistake because he was exhausted and grumpy from his long ride in the car. But Emily wanted to see him. He slept in the car and when we went into the restaurant he wouldn't sit in the high chair. He started crying very loudly and was visibly upset, so I took him out and held him. I didn't know what to do, because he NEVER does that! He has never cried in a restaurant before, and I knew that it was annoying to other customers, but my child was upset and I felt really bad for him. I held him on my shoulder and rocked him while trying to eat french fries and talk to Emily, and he ended up going to sleep, so I laid him down beside me in the booth. Poor thing! Emily and I had a good talk. She's a good kid, but I don't think she gets enough attention at home. My uncle and aunt both work a lot and are always tired, even with just 5 kids left in the house. It's actually harder for them now because the older 5 have moved on so they aren't nearby to help out. When I was in college I used to go up all the time to spend time with the kids, help them clean their rooms (which never happened otherwise), buy them things they needed, whatever, but I just don't have time or money for that anymore now that I have a child of my own. I've decided I'm just going to have to be better about writing
them letters, even if they don't write back. Anyway, after we ate I brought Emily by Kim's for a while so she could see my mom and Kathy. My cousin David (oldest of the 10) ended up coming by and he took Emily home so I didn't have to drive all the way out there again.
Sunday, Dec. 21st
Sunday morning we decided not to go to church with Kim and the kids, but to sleep in a little. We actually ended up getting up at like 8 a.m. and cleaning her house. We caught up all the laundry (which was a lot), vacuumed, cleaned the living room, and scoured the kitchen. I went out to Kroger and got groceries for lunch and more cleaning supplies, then spent 30 minutes on my hands and knees cleaning her kitchen floor. Imagine having 3 kids under the age of 3 and watching 2 other kids all
during the week. She doesn't have time to really scrub things, she's lucky if she keeps them alive and fed. So I put a lot of muscle into getting that floor clean, and it felt good to do it. (It also made me feel better about walking around in there -- no more sticking to the floor!) When Kim
got home she was really surprised and happy -- I wish I could help her out more, too, but I don't want to live in Indiana! I like Tennessee.
SPEGETTI DINNER (Lunch).
My mom makes the best speghetti in the world. so she got to baking, and I drove out to Steve's again to get the youngest 4 kids: Andrew, Melanie, Emily, and Caleb. The younger ones tend to get squirrely sometimes, so I told them in the car that they were going to be on their best behavior, no yelling or being rough or running around, they would be considerate of the little kids and be nice and polite to Kim, clean up their messes, etc, or I would pack them up in the middle of lunch and take them home. They all said ok, so we had a good day. I think that if you make it VERY clear upfront what you expect, then you can pretty much be nice the rest of the day because they have that memory of you being harsh and they don't want you to be like that again. It's worked for me thus far, anyway. The speghetti was great, the kids all played together and got to know us again, and they even helped clean up!
CHURCH
Uncle Steve came to pick the kids up about 4 p.m. because they had a Christmas program at church that night. We went to church at 7, because Melanie was singing in the choir and Micah (child #6, he's 17) was in the play. I didn't want to put Jake in the nursery because I don't like to leave him with people I don't know at all, so he sat with me in the pew toward the back of the church and played while we waited for the service to start. He had so much fun watching everyone coming in and walking up and down the empty pew. He figured out how to get up on the pew from the floor by himself and he was so proud. He just bamed. He lasted through the opening hymns and 10 minutes of the program before he got squirmy, so I took him out in the foyer and let him run around. He stayed closeby most of the time and didn't leave the foyer, so I could watch the program through the door windows and see Micah. He's a really good actor -- I didn't even recognize him! I was
impressed. Sometimes Jake would take off down the hallway and I'd follow him and let him explore, but then we'd come back to watch through the window. Eventually he needed a diaper change so I took him into the nursery to change him and then let him play in the nursery for the last 20 minutes while I sat with him. 2 workers had a lot of toddlers to watch, so I don't think they minded the extra help. Jake played happily with everyone else, barely noticed I was there, but Courtney (Kim's oldest) wanted to sit with me. She's a very mature two-and-a-half year-old, but she's always expected to act older than she is, just out of necessity because she has two litle brothers. Kimmy doesn't have much time to baby her, even
though she wants to, so Courtney spent a lot of time in my lap that weekend. It was nice to be able to give her a little extra attention. I remember holding her when she was two weeks old, at my Grandmother's funeral. It was so weird to have Grandma die just as Courtney was being born. I
held her during a lot of the funeral just so I had something to focus on so I would't have a break-down, because I was singing at the end. I got through the singing without crying, but afterwards I pretty much didn't stop crying for an hour, and for weeks afterward. Anyway, Courtney is special to me because of that, and because she was the first baby from the cousins and really because she is just a sweet, wonderful little girl.
I guess I haven't written much about Kim's kids. Aaron, the baby, is sweet as can be. He's a good size (we grow them big in my family), nice and solid, but still so tiny. I love holding newborns. I like when he was just a little fussy being able to get him to go to sleep -- it makes me feel like there's something I'm good at! I like the way it feels to have a sleeping newborn on your chest and to feel them breathe and to smell the new baby smell. I like when he
looks up at me and tries to figure out what in the world is going on. I like the way they squirm around, learning how their bodies move, and how their entire body participates in yawning. All in all, it was wonderful to get to see him at such a young age and to experience again what it's like to take care of a newborn.
I never got to see Isaiah when he was newborn. He was born in May 2002 -- I visited with Kimmy when she was 8 months pregnant and I was 4 months pregnant. My great-grandmother died that month. (What is it with new babies and grandparents dying? At least I know it won't happen again, I don't have any grandparents left.) I didn't see them again until Thanksgiving, when Jake was a little over two months old and Isaiah was 6 months old. Isaiah has always been a sweet baby, but he has had a lot of problems. He had some hearing loss, so was developmentally behind because it wasn't discovered until he was like 9 months old. He also has something else wrong, but he's still being tested to figure out just what. He's a good kid and functions well, but he has a lot of traits of autism. He likes to be alone, likes repetitive tasks, loves spinning wheels and will sit and do it forever, has breakdowns and will cry uncontrollably for no reason, has severe mood shifts in an instant -- moreso than normal toddlers. But he walked at a normal age, he interacts well with people, he will
smile and do "Patty-cake" and "Itsy Bitsy Spider" with you . . . so we're not sure what's wrong with him. But he has a gorgeous smile and is cuddly if you can convince him to stick around for more than 30 seconds. He's pretty jealous of Aaron, but that's understandable. He didn't really
play much with Jake, because he prefers to play alone. If Isaiah's in a room alone playing and someone comes in, he will leave and find another empty place to play.
STEPHANIE
Stephanie is my Uncle Steve's 4th child, the 2nd girl. She's my sister Kathy's age, and got married earlier this year. She's so much fun. She came over Sunday night after we got home and we sat and talked for hours. When we were younger we didn't get along very well because (and don't think I'm sounding snotty here) we were both thin and cute and you know how catty teenage girls can be when they feel like they're in competetion. We have since gotten over it and we get along wonderfully. Sometimes Kim and Steph feel more like sisters to me than Mary and Kathy do. Kimmy, especially, really understands me and is good about writing me letters and sending me pictures of the kids. I have heard from my sister Mary twice in 3 years. Anyway, Steph is great, it was good to see her.
Monday, Dec. 22nd
VISIT WITH COLE
Monday morning we lounged around for a while, started getting our stuff packed up, and called my cousin Nathan (5th child, he's 22) and asked if we could come and visit them. [Laura and Nate got married a year ago, they'd been dating for about two years. Nate knew the day he met Laura that she was the one, and he told me as much, I was up visiting that week. He told me he
wanted me to meet his girlfriend and how great she was, and I said "Nate, you can't know this soon." They had both just gotten out of relationships and were honestly not looking for new ones, but then met at church and it was pretty much love at first sight. Their families had known each other forever, but they went to different schools and Laura is a little older than Nate. At first I was a little apprehensive of Laura, because she is SO sweet and I had a hard time trusting that she was for real, but as I got to know her, she really is that sweet! She and Nate are such a great couple. They've had a really hard year, having Cole born so premature. Jake has Nathan's middle name, Alexander, because he's one of my favorite cousins.] Anyway, we all piled into the car and drove out to their house.
Words can't describe how moved I was when I saw Cole again. The last time I saw him was August 9th, when he was 6 days old and in the preemie ward. Born 14 weeks early, he was just over two pounds and so fragile when I saw him. I was so nervous to visit him in the hospital, afraid that I would totally lose it and start bawling (like I did whenever I thought about him). I was nervous the whole drive there. Cole's daddy, Nathan, took me in to see him, there were probably 6 or 8 incubators with preemies in the room. Some babies were small but looked so big compared to Cole, and others were about his size. Just being in that room really made me count my blessings to have had an almost 10 pound baby a year before. We couldn't hold Cole (I don't think Nate had even held him yet), but we could reach through the incubator to touch him (after we washed our hands thoroughly.) I was so scared to touch him, but I did, and that made me feel connected to this tiny little thing. I almost regretted touching him because it made me more attached than I already was, and while I wanted to hope for the best, if I stayed detached I didn't have to be so afraid. But then I realized that we needed to trust God to watch over Cole, and holding back from
loving him just wasn't an option.
You'll imagine my joy, then, at visiting Cole December 22nd (almost 20 weeks old, about a month old gestationally) and seeing that he was the size of any other newborn I've held. It's amazing how someone who started so tiny could catch up so well. He was still smaller than Jake started, but there's just no comparison. Cole was huge in my eyes. Although he was sleepy during
our visit, when he did decide to open his eyes he was attentive and sweet. While he's still too young to really interact with, Jake was interested in him and got close to look at him but thank goodness didn't feel the need to touch him. (Jake has a habit of playfully hitting his friend Elauna on the head and I didn't want that to happen to Cole!) Jake was content to run all around
Laura's mom's house with Aunt Kathy watching him while my mom and I took turns holding (and taking pictures of) little Cole. We didn't get to stay long, and I don't know when I'll get to see him again, but it was so nice to have that in-person reassurance that he's growing and getting better and better. We sat while we held Cole and watched Nate and Laura's wedding video (they just celebrated their 1 year anniversary.) I missed the wedding, too (that's 3 of my cousin's weddings that I've missed!) but it was a BEAUTIFUL wedding! Laura is so beautiful, and it made me so proud to see Nate and his brothers in suits looking all spiffed up.
I know that all babies are special and that all of life is a miracle, but because of what Cole has gone through I think I will always consider him special, even when he's 18 and taller than I am. His family calls him their miracle baby, and he really is. I love you, little Cole!!! Be sure to check out the pictures of him on Jake's site.
TRIP HOME
We drove back to Kim's and had to say goodbye -- the weather was getting bad and mom doesn't like driving at night. We ended up leaving at like 3 p.m., then drove an hour into Seymour, Indiana, where they have a Perkins. I LOVE Perkins, but we don't have them in Nashville. We stopped to eat, I got a bread-bowl salad (YUM!), and we let Jake run around a little. He had a rough trip home, he didn't want to sleep but didn't want to sit. I kept him amused a little bit by showing him video clips I'd taken with my camera, and with Hokey-Pokey Elmo, but then it got dark and we pretty much had to listen to him whine. We stopped several times to give him a break, and ended up getting home at like 9 p.m., which isn't bad for a 5 hour drive (but it took 7 hours when you count the time change.) ;o) We were really glad to be back home, but I miss my cousins, and I probably won't be able to go back up there until next Thanksgiving. Our focus right now is getting our bills more under control, and we have to make a bigger dent in our student loans and build up our savings account more before we're going to be able to take trips for fun, even if they are just to visit family. So right now I'm stuck writing letters and making an occasional phone call.
Here's the link to pictures of our Indiana trip: http://www.mypages.iparenting.com/webs/hancock2/index.html
I'm Sorry I've been ignoring most of you, but being out from work and travelling and holiday stuff in general has kept me away from the computer. (Or working on pages for Jake's webpage. I wanted to get caught up with all the pictures from Christmas so I could start fresh for the new year! That's taken a lot of my time. Jake's homepage is
http://www.thebabycorner.com/sites/webs/strangejen/index.html, I finally re-arranged the links so they make sense, and there are links to new pages up toward the top of the page.
As always, happy thoughts and TTM!!!
 |  |
|
want to keep a diary on iParenting?
Authoring a diary on the iParenting network allows you to chronicle your family's story, preserving it for years to come. It's also a great way to get the most out of the iParenting community. Click here to start...
|
The iParenting Media Awards program helps parents find the best products for their families. 
