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Introduction
December 13, 2002
Almost Nine Months
I really hate writing in my diary about events, I find it so boring to read and even more boring to write. I prefer to write about life, issues, controversies – the good stuff – as it pertains to Cameron’s and Charles’ and my lives. But, because certain occasions are major events in Cameron’s life, I feel compelled to at least mention them, so bear with me.
Thanksgiving Weekend and the Christening
We went to CT to have Cameron christened the Sunday before Thanksgiving, as well as for the holiday itself. The christening was just that – a christening. It was spiritual, emotional and beautiful. Though I am not religious at all, even I was touched at the sight of my child in church for this very meaningful occasion. Cameron behaved very well and spent most of the service trying to grab a lady’s hat in front of us - a bright purple hat complete with feathers and polka dots. Can you blame him? What infant isn’t going to try and grab such an “interesting” object? It would have been hysterical if it had happened, though I am sure the lady wouldn’t have been too thrilled.
Thanksgiving was very nice as well, your standard Thanksgiving complete with all the fattening foods I usually try to avoid. Naturally, I ate like a pig but was proud that at least I skipped all desserts.
It was great being back in CT and seeing all our family and friends. I had a great time with my MIL who I feel really close to all over again. I think I mentioned once that my MIL and I used to be very close and then over the years we grew apart a bit, not for any particular reason, just the usual MIL-DIL sort of crap. But now that Cameron is here, I feel closer to her than ever, I have bonded with her in some way that I can’t really describe. I guess what it boils down to is that I will love anyone who loves my son and since I loved her even before Cameron was born, she is even more special to me now. Sure she has gotten on my nerves in the past but then again, I am sure I have gotten on hers as well. But what really matters to me is that she is so wonderful with Cameron, so kind, so loving. It is great to watch them together. It is also nice because my MIL had been dying for a grandchild for the longest time and I am happy for her that she is finally able to enjoy this baby so much. I just wish she didn’t live so far away.
My MIL came back to VA with us and stayed a week and again, she and I had a ball. We did Christmas shopping, ate out, hung out, chatted, gossiped and basically just enjoyed each other’s company – it was great. I really am lucky to have a MIL who is so down-to-earth even though she is 73 years old. I was sad to see her go because she was such great fun to have around. I am sure she thought I didn’t want her to leave only because she gave me a break taking care of Cameron but honestly, I just enjoyed being around her. The thing is, she was great taking care of Cameron, getting up at night despite my protests for her to stay in bed, cooking dinner almost every night (probably due to my poor cooking skills – I made the WORST spaghetti on the planet one night and let’s face it, it is pretty damn hard to ruin spaghetti). So, like I said, I am sure that she probably just felt that I wanted her to stay so I could use her but really, truly, I just enjoyed her friendship and her company. And of course, Cameron enjoyed her too.
What Cameron is Up To
Cameron is teething big time. His first tooth was officially cut on December 9. You can see about 1/6 of the tooth through the gum, just high enough to scrape your fingertip, but not out enough to be truly noticeable in a smile. Poor thing, boy is he suffering. He’s got the whole diarrhea/red cheeks/drooling/gnawing thing going on. I’ll just be glad when the tooth is all the way up. I cannot believe it took this long for his first tooth to come in! I have heard that the later they teethe, the stronger the teeth but I think this could just be some old wives’ tale. Then again, I teethed late in infancy and my teeth are as strong as hell now, no cavities and no problems, knock on wood.
Cameron has turned into a little Houdini – the other night I was sitting in the den paying bills and Cameron was playing quietly in the Exersaucer (another thing I swore I’d never use). Anyway, as I am writing a check, all of a sudden I feel a little pat-pat-pat on my knee – scared the HELL out of me. I looked up and saw Cameron there patting away and smiling at me like he had done something special, which of course, he had. Somehow that little stinker managed to pull himself up and out of that Exersaucer without making a sound. I was dying to see him do it since I had missed it, and placed him back in the Exersaucer but of course, he wouldn’t try and come out when I was actually watching him. So, I figured that it was thus time to raise the Exersaucer a bit, even though the next level leaves him barely standing on his tippy toes. At least he can’t get out, and even still, I would never leave him in that thing unattended because you just never know.
Cameron is into everything, big surprise, right? He wants to touch all that he sees and I do mean ALL. Naturally, almost everything that piques his curiosity is something dangerous/painful/life-threatening, such as outlets, Christmas tree ornaments, the dishwasher or stairs. He can climb the whole staircase now in seconds flat. One thing that he is particularly fascinated with is the gas fireplace. For those of you unfamiliar with it, a gas fireplace is basically the same as real fireplace except you have fake logs with a real flame around it that burns once you flip a switch. It is all contained behind a large plate of glass which becomes extremely hot after a few minutes. The point of it, I suppose, is that a gas fireplace heats your room better and has less mess than a real fireplace. They are pretty popular these days though I myself am partial to live fireplaces. Ok, enough on these damn fireplaces, back to Cameron – he is in love with the FP naturally because of the flame and shiny light, etc. He is constantly crawling toward it in the hopes of touching it. We whisk him away every time he gets anywhere near it so it hasn’t been a problem – until the other morning. I was still in bed, too beat to get my lazy butt out of bed, and Charles was downstairs reading and watching Cameron who was up of course, at the crack of dawn. Charles obviously wasn’t paying attention because the next thing he knew, he hears this loud wail and looks up to see Cameron holding his hand from where he had touched the plate glass. He hadn’t burned himself, (thank goodness since I don’t know any good divorce attorneys in the area), but had just been shocked by the sting, a sensation he had never experienced before. Well, the one good thing that came out of it is that he has not gone near that FP since. Nevertheless, we are still buying a special FP gate that they actually sell at Charles’ store to create a barrier, just in case.
I wasn’t pissed at Charles, despite what you may think, because honestly, that could happen to anybody – I think. But, I did become irate when I learned that that same morning Charles was AGAIN not paying attention and Cameron pulled the floor lamp down on top of himself, not causing any harm, but only scaring himself. I told Charles that he has GOT to pay closer attention to Cameron because now he is at an age where he really is into everything and we can’t take our eyes off of him for even a minute. We have actually tried to contain him in his Pack N’ Play, but he hates it so much I can’t bare to torture him with it. He plays so much better on the floor and with other people as opposed to in a small space and by himself.
Because of the FP incident, we decided that we really have to start seriously teaching him what “no” means. We have tried previously but felt he was too young to understand, plus, whenever we would say it, he’d laugh and so would we and the whole object lesson would be completely lost. Now however, we are getting serious. Even though we have every outlet in this friggin’ place covered, we still tell him “No” whenever he goes near one. The other day, he went over to the outlet for my computer and tried to yank the cord out. I said “Nooooooo!” in a very long and drawn out, yet serious fashion. I didn’t yell, I didn’t scream, I was barely even harsh, but boy is that little baby sensitive because he took one look at me and the expression on my face (which was one of “I am not playing around here”) and immediately started bawling. And you know, it’s funny, it was not the same type of cry he has when he is hungry, wet, tired or angry. It was definitely a “She is “YELLING” at me and she is not kissing me now and she hurt my FEELINGS!” sort of cry. Almost like I had embarrassed him. Oh man, he MUST be related to me. Well, naturally I felt horrible and of course, picked him up and hugged him and kissed him, probably negating the whole point of it all. But how can you remain steadfast in your discipline in a case like this? Just taking one look at that poor little face, so unhappy, so distraught – I couldn’t take it. Ah well, he will learn eventually.
I took Cameron with me in the big bathtub the other day and he as usual, was having a ball. He still hasn’t quite grasped the concept that he can’t move around in water like he can on dry land and obviously has no clue that he can’t breathe if his face goes underwater. So, I have to hold him under his arms as he tries to swim all over the place, trying to catch his toys or the soap or the faucet. Then I came up with an idea – I got his baby float, a round tube about 2 and ½ feet in diameter, with these sort of straps that go around the legs and prevent him from going through the tube, and then put him inside the tube, in the tub. I didn’t have the tub filled that high and because he was in the tube, he was able to walk around on the floor of the tub and not fall over. It was a great idea because Cameron was so happy to be able to move around freely without my help. It was weird too because it was just like he was walking. I wonder if this will give him more confidence and cause him to walk sooner? Not that it matters, he’ll walk when he will walk. Still, it was cool to see him enjoying himself so much as he walked all around the tub so easily. And before anyone wonders, I never left the tub for a minute though, just in case he should somehow get out of the tube.
Sleeping, Eating and Diaper Changing Drama
In all three of these categories, Cameron is driving me bats.
Sleep - Don’t ask me why, but Cameron sleeps less and less despite being more and more active, it is pure torture for us. He wakes at 5 a.m., goes to bed at 10 p.m. and usually wakes up at least once during the night. He takes two naps a day – at 15-20 minute intervals each. He is bright-eyed, bushy-tailed and full of vitality during his waking hours. He never wakes up cranky, instead he wakes up smiling and he rarely sleeps in the car. Is this normal? It damn sure isn’t fair, I can tell you that. Not that I don’t love spending every waking moment with my son, but damn – it would be nice to have at least one solid hour to myself every day just to do laundry, dust or empty the dishwasher without Cameron crying. (Did I mention before how he will cry if you leave his side for even a minute)? We won’t even talk about a luxury such as reading a book – a book? What is that? Why do you think I hardly ever update my diary of Cameron’s webpage anymore? The answer – no free time because Cameron never sleeps. In addition to the lack of free time, I have not had a solid night sleep in months. Even I, who needs very little sleep compared to your average individual, am beginning to suffer. The thing is, we try to put Cam to bed earlier but all he does is either cry or play until his “bedtime.” This kid just won’t sleep. I plan on asking my pediatrician about this next week when we take him in for his 9-month check-up because I can’t continue like this. I fear that not only Cameron, but I will end up with some sort of psychosis from lack of sleep.
Eating - Cameron has recently decided that he no longer wants jarred baby food. He seals his lips tight and grins like he knows he is getting away with something when the spoon nears his mouth. Since I know he doesn’t truly need the jarred food for nutrition, I don’t try to force him but it still bugs me because it seems weird not to be giving him actual food and for him to be living solely on formula. Though I know you are not supposed to do it, I put cereal in his bottles and he will take it that way, but to feed him cereal in a bowl – forget it – it is not happening.
Diaper changing – When you go to change Cam’s diaper, he becomes almost irate at the sheer injustice of the act and flips over and thrashes about. There are times when I am trying to wipe his poop covered butt while he is flipped over, nearly on his hands with me holding his legs in the air, all the while he is trying to escape. And why is it that the only time his foot happens to graze the poop is when he is wearing a fresh pair of socks or shoes? That never happens when he is barefoot, of course.
The changing table is a waste of time, it is nearly impossible to change him on it. I simply do it on the floor because it is easier for me to gain some leverage. Sometimes I manage to change him while he stands, he seems OK with that, but that is still a hard way to get the diaper properly positioned. I have also tried diverting his attention with toys but that is a short-lived distraction. Then I finally discovered a way that I can change him without him getting away from me, though it will sound a bit extreme. I lay him on the floor and then I sit down with each one of my legs lightly over each of his arms and legs. He can’t move at all when I employ this method of restraint. He doesn’t even get upset when I do it, he just laughs like it is funny to see me “sitting” on him. It goes without saying that changing Cameron in a public restroom is a nightmare and I avoid it if I can help it. I have taken to changing him in the back of the car whenever possible.
“Temper, temper…”
Cameron has managed to develop quite the little temper there, (hmmm…wonder where he got that character trait from?)? ; ) He has begun having little tantrums on a regular basis. For example, if you take something away from him that he should not be touching, he arches his back, slams himself on the floor and kicks his legs so hard I have to look for bruises afterward. Other times, like when I put him in his crib in an attempt to try to get him to nap, he will perform as described above, then pull himself to a standing position, and bang both hands on the footboard of his crib in a fit of anger. When he has these tantrums, I don’t even react, I simply look at him and say – “Oh, too bad. You’re not getting your way. You’re just going to have to get over it sweetie.” And if he is contained (in the crib or pack n’ play), I leave the room. These little fits don’t even last a minute and I am hoping that if I continue to treat them as if they don’t exist, they will end by the time he is a toddler. Because there is no WAY I am tolerating a child having a natural fit when he doesn’t get his way. Oh HELL no. Because the next thing you know, he’ll be 3 and in the supermarket whining for a piece of candy and having a fit on the floor when I tell him “no.” And by now, we all know how I feel about THAT. At this age, however, it is very amusing to watch, he does look so cute when he is angry.
Cam and the Christmas Season
We took Cameron to see Santa Claus on December 2 and contrary to what everyone said, he was very happy on “Santa’s” lap. He never cried, he just smiled and tried to pull his beard. It was a fun experience, after all, I have waited a long time to be able to take my baby to see Santa Claus but I have to be honest here – what a rip-off. The sheer profit that is made by preying upon parents’ innocent desire to see their child posed upon Santa’s lap is disheartening. Granted, “Santa” does have to get paid, as do his little photo- taking flunkies, I mean “elves,” but come on - $24.95 for 4 lousy pictures? Sheer robbery. The truth of the matter is that the pictures could have cost a hundred bucks and I still would have done it. It would have been worth every penny to see Cameron on that stranger’s lap, and his first picture with Santa holds a special place of honor on our living room coffee table. It makes me feel bad though – what do people do who can’t afford $25 bucks for a picture of their kid when he says “Mommy, can I go see Santa?” Tell them “no?” The thought of such a scenario makes me want to go jump off a bridge.
I know Christmas is not about the presents and when you have an infant, presents mean even less because an infant has no clue what presents are about. Despite this logic, we still went out and bought Cameron a few more gifts than we had originally planned. A waste? Of course. Do we care? Of course not. The presents, and make no mistake about this – are for US. It gives US pleasure to see him play with the paper that his gifts are wrapped in. It gives US pleasure to see him fumble with the toys that he still doesn’t quite understand. And I know people will think it is wrong to buy a baby toys for his first Christmas, and maybe it is, but I have to tell you, it sure was fun. We didn’t spend a lot, mind you, but we chose carefully and had a good time with it all. We got him that Fisher Price 3 wheeler thing, like a teeny little tricycle for 1+ years, the Airtivity Table, I think also by Fisher Price, a bunch of developmental toys from Parenting Magazine, (blocks, stackers and shape sorters), all for 9 months +, some musical toys and a musical stuffed animal that we plan on using to try to get Cameron to go to sleep. Charles’ mom told us she bought him this activity center/walker thing, sort of this table with all sorts of toys on it that shifts up to a walker that he can push along and help him learn to walk. There are also a ton of gifts/toys from friends and relatives that he will also have to play with. Truthfully, a lot of the things we bought we would have bought anyway at some point or another since Cameron is outgrowing a lot of his older toys, but since Christmas was coming, we decided to just wrap them as gifts to make it more fun. As we leave for France on the 23rd, we plan on opening all the bigger gifts here, and leaving the smaller ones to pack for the trip so that Cameron has something “to open” on actual Christmas Day.
Drumline - Two and a half babies
Have you ever heard of this movie? I never had until we were invited to its premiere in Washington, D.C. This movie was directed by Charles’ cousin and as such, we were invited to the opening. The movie, which opens in theaters today, is about a high school snare drum player who is recruited by a Black College to play for the school marching band. If you are familiar with Black colleges, you know then that their marching bands are a sight to behold. The band members don’t simply march across the field, they play their instruments, they dance, and nearly do gymnastics. It is like watching a musical instead of a marching band. The main character, whose name already escapes me, is a brilliant drummer yet a scathing non-conformist who suffers from an enormous lack of self discipline. The plot basically focuses upon the trials and tribulations of this drummer as he tries to fit in with the rest of the band and advance among the ranks of his peers. From the way I describe it, the plot sounds very simple and boring but honestly, it was very good, or so I thought. I would call it a “feel-good” movie, ¼ drama, ¾ comedy. I wouldn’t spend $8.75 on it but $3.50 at Blockbuster would make it a good Sunday rental.
Men
I hate to play into the stereotype of the man as the “incompetent father” but I felt this little anecdote would ring familiar with many of you. Today Charles and I decided to take Cameron out for a little while to get him some fresh air. We had been lying around all day doing nothing in particular except lounging around and cleaning the house. So, at around 3 o’clock we got ourselves ready to do some shopping in Bethesda, MD at Mazza Gallery, an OUTDOOR shopping area. Normally, Charles defers to me when choosing what Cameron should wear on any given day. I feel this is wrong and that half of the time Charles should be able to choose what he wants Cameron to wear – after all – they are only clothes, right? So, after Charles gave Cameron a bath, I told him to go choose some clothes for Cameron and that I would go take a shower. Charles asked me, “Are you sure I can choose ANYTHING I want?” I told him “Sure,” and headed for the bathroom. Big mistake. Charles looked skeptical as he smirked at me but he headed for Cameron’s room nonetheless. When I came out, I saw Charles putting clothes on Cameron that I never would have chosen. And then I felt guilty because I had just told Charles to dress Cameron how he pleased, I simply couldn’t tell him I disapproved? Could I?
First of all, it was freezing outside – Charles chooses a little rugby shirt that was thin and loose, underneath a pair of denim overalls. All WRONG. I never, NEVER bring Cameron outside with a thin shirt if there is no turtleneck underneath it. Never. Second, I NEVER put a regular shirt underneath a pair of overalls, the only shirts that go under overalls are shirts that attach in the crotch, otherwise the shirt rides up, becomes all bunchy and uncomfortable, and makes the outfit look terrible. Plus, it does nothing to keep his body warm if it is all bunched up around the chest area. The denim overalls were fine but this boy has at least 7 pairs of corduroy overalls that are much warmer and cozier. He also has fleece pants and one piece jumpers that would have been better suited for cold weather activities. Why would you choose some cold denim overalls when there are so many much cozier, warmer choices?! Finally, the shirt Charles had chosen was brand new and I had been saving it for our trip so he would have something fresh to wear. I didn’t want to waste it on a small shopping trip where he would probably drool/puke/poop on it and no one would ever even see it underneath his coat! I realize I have serious issues but bear with me here – I also have serious paranoia about Cameron catching a cold and messing up his ears. He cannot afford to have his ears clogged before his hearing test, nor can he afford to get sick before the plane trip. So, he needs to be dressed warmly. This in mind, I decided I just couldn’t keep my mouth shut and very gently indicated to Charles that perhaps it would be better if we put a turtleneck underneath Cameron’s shirt. I didn’t mention the shirt itself or the overalls, I figured I just had to let it go since it was so insignificant. But the warmth issue I simply had to address. Of course, Charles had to pout and sigh as he undressed Cameron saying “I knew you wouldn’t like what I had chosen. You are so predictable.” I tried to explain to him that I only wanted Cameron to be warm, but that the outfit itself was fine. I ALSO wanted to add that common sense would dictate when it is below freezing outside a baby should be wearing layers and preferably a warm sweater, not some flimsy shirt with nothing under it. But, I knew that would get us nowhere so I held my tongue – after all, I believe that one of the key elements to a good marriage is knowing when to keep your yap shut. But honestly, what was he thinking? : )
I am half kidding about all of this, please understand. Charles is a very dedicated, loving and intelligent father to Cameron and I truly appreciate and realize how much he does for our child and how well he takes care of him. But I simply couldn’t resist poking a little fun at Charles’ expense. What’s parenthood without a little levity, after all. Right?
Until next time,
Corinne and Cam
Born 3/15/02
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