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February 12, 2002
Where to start, where to start....?? Yesterday was Thomas' ten week birthday and here I am writing my first 'babies today' entry. My poor correspondence is not from lack of trying. I have attempted to write this entry on more than 5 occasions, with no success. Being a mother of two little 'ins is without a doubt one of the most challenging undertakings of my life, and albeit physically draining, mentally trying and emotionally taxing, I love my little family and relish this special time in my life.
With so much development time behind us and as time is of the essence, a brief synopsis will have to suffice.
Significant events of the past ten weeks:
· Tom flashed his first smile at 5 weeks. It takes absolutely no effort to coax him to grin. What a happy little fellow he is. In the past few weeks he has began to engage in a bit of a chat. He loves company and rewards anyone who takes the time to stop by his chair for a chinwag with a gurgle, a giggle or a smile.
· At only three weeks old Tommy managed to roll from his tummy to his back. He is incredibly strong, as he is able to perch himself up on he forearms when lying on his tummy. Mind you, he is a lay back little chappy and prefers to sit back quietly and conserve his energy. Definitely placid in nature and patient. I have been blessed with a very content baby.
· At ten weeks Tom persists with his three hourly feeds although he has managed to stretch the interval to six hours on one or two occasions. He is a hungry boy and an excellent little feeder. Tony insists that Tom needs a hobby as he seems to wile away the hours attached to the breast. I would say that this breast infatuation is his hobby and will probably develop even more in latter years if he is a typical male. I am just happy that he is a great sucker. I was inundated with mastitis when I fed Annie, but, 'touch wood', have not had a problem this time around.
· Tom is becoming increasingly aware of his surroundings and follows objects that catch his fancy with his eyes. I noticed that he was watching "The Bear in the Big Blue House" on telly this morning. The Bear is my favourite kids program as well.
· Up until recently he does not stay awake for any more than one and half-hours at a time. The exception being around dinner time, when he cat naps and tend to stay awake until I finally retire to bed myself. As Annie has also taken to deferring bedtime to after 9 PM, I am deprived of kid free time.
Boy oh boy do I miss my 'own' time. As Toms feeds are regular, I feel as though I am on a short leash most of the time. If I pop out to run a few errands I am constantly on edge, worrying that my precious boy may be at home insatiably distressed. I miss my meditative swims at the local pool, my shopping sprees and nights out with Tony. Mind you craving time alone as you have little tikes on your toes is a million, billion times better than being alone and longing for company. Afterall it will not be long before Thomas is less dependent on his mum. Matter of fact there may even come a point where I dare say he may not want a lot to do with his mum at all. How could those big blue eyes that now gaze at me with absolute admiration, instead look at me with distain? I do not like to think about…next topic…..
I am convinced that as soon as you conceive and even more so after you give birth, the statement, "feel free to say what ever is on your mind regarding how I am parenting this child" becomes visible to all and sundry. Case in point, I was doing a spot of grocery shopping a few weeks ago. My sister Anne offered to come along to help with the kids as she also had some shopping to do. I had to back track as I had forgotten to pick up some yoghurt. As I was dashing past the dairy section, I ran into Molly Buckland, a friend of Mum's. I had not seen her since Thomas was born. Instead of asking about Thomas, and how I was doing, she instead wanted to know who I had "off-loaded my children to this time". A bit stunned by the insensitivity of this comment, I told her that they were in the next aisle with Anne and asked her if she would like to come and meet Thomas. Molly had previously commented to Mum that I imposed on the family. I must admit I have spent more time in Newcastle, where my family live, than in Sydney since Thomas arrived. After all, two of my sisters are schoolteachers and were on holidays for the Christmas break. Another of my sisters is a stay at home mother with her two little girls, both of which Annie loves to pieces. Mum and Dad are so very helpful with the kids and we all love staying at Poppy and Mamma's house. Tony is working in Sydney but commutes back and forth between Newcastle and Sydney when he can. The incredible amount of support has been an enormous help and I am certain that the family enjoy having us around. But for some reason Molly feels as though my extended stay in Newcastle and my acceptance of babysitting offers and other assistance, is an imposition on my part. She was not shy in coming forward with her opinions, telling me that mum and dad were aging before her eyes, due to the rigours of having us stay with them. Having had four children herself she managed to soldier on without help, yet questioned me as to why with only two children I could not cope on my own. Taken back by her candour, I was unable to respond with an appropriate rebuttal to squash her self-righteousness. And while I was still recovering from her cutting remarks, she asked Annie if she could have one of the 'Twisties' Annie was munching on. Now a two-year-old does not understand the concept of sharing, particularly when it comes to lollies, snacks and chocolate. So obviously Annie was not eager to hand over a 'Twistie' willingly. After having her request for a 'Twistie' refused, Molly told me that Annie was not a very considerate little girl. I bit my tongue and convinced myself that the personal attack was a result of the insensitivity of an elderly woman who had completely forgotten what it is really like to have little ones. Whatsmore Mum ashored me that she and Dad loved having us around and that we were not aging them but on the contrary keeping them young. She said that Molly is becoming a bit 'funny' in her old age.
So I guess we mums have to grin and bear the candid insensitive comments that come our way and take solace in the fact that we are doing the best we possibly can. Until next time I manage to pull together….who knows when that might be?
Oh, before I finish, yesterday was Annie's 2nd birthday. Annie had a great day. We are spending a week in a little beachside town down the South Coast of Australia, called Mollymook. Friends of ours from Canada are staying with us for a while so we decided to show them a few sights. Mum and Dad also came along as I figured they would enjoy the trip and having helped us so much with the kids, I thought their inclusion in our little holiday may be a small gesture to say thanks. Therefore it was Mollymook where Annie turned two. We hid her presents all around the lounge room and she took great delight in finding each one, immediately ripping open the paper. Her favourite present was the Hi-5 video. She is a huge Hi-5 fan. Now I definitely must go as Annie is in her room refusing to take a nap. Man-oh-man, two year olds are challenging creatures. Annie's recent pursuit for independence and her exploration of how far she can push the boundaries is proving to be by far the most challenging phase I have been presented with during my rather brief stint as a mum.
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