Comparing your toddler to how your older kids acted at that age is a natural reaction for any parent. But Phyllis Ring of Exeter, N.H., still had an open mind when it came to her second child.

"Our son, Tobey, second of our two children, had an older sister who was a strong first child and explorer who did everything early, even with the physical disability of a birth defect (bilateral clubfoot, later corrected by surgery)," she says. "So by birth order and gender, Tobey was already predisposed to doing things at a slower pace developmentally, but it caused some concern when his vocabulary by age 2 remained minimal."

Ring was confused by Tobey's apparent delay because "he was up to speed in all other areas – he actually showed signs of gifted tendencies in mechanical, fine-motor and artistic skills. He assembled puzzles advanced for his age, demonstrated an acrobat's balance and coordination and executed drawings that showed early glimmerings of an innate artist. But his few words remained: 'Ma, Da, Va' (first two letters of sister's name) and, of course, the obligatory toddler's 'no.'"

Ring describes her son as "an otherwise happy, active child" but it was obvious that he had very little to say.

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