Yasmeen Neuman says she made the mistake of rocking and staying with her oldest daughter, Eva Marie, until she fell asleep as a baby. This continued through her toddler years. "With my first one, I did everything wrong as a first-time parent," says Neuman, who lives in Tampa, Fla. She says she spent at least two hours at bedtime and naptime with Eva Marie, who is now 4.

With her 2-year-old toddler, Annaliese, and 1-year-old, Celia, Neuman, took the graduated extinction behavioral approach. "I put them to bed when they were 4 months old," she says. "Then, if they cried, I'd tell them they are OK and set the expectation they could and would be able to go to sleep by themselves. They are great."

She would check on her daughters every five or 10 minutes the first time they got out of bed. The next time, she would wait 15 or more minutes. By the fifth or sixth night, she says she did not hear any crying. Her children still take two-hour naps during the day, which do not interfere with their sleep at night.

Ralph Downey, a health psychologist, sleep medicine specialist and medical director of the Loma Linda University Sleep Disorder Center in Loma Linda, Calif., says graduated extinction is a softer approach than the extinction technique.

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