In high school, Will Rapp and his identical twin, Wayne, were both well liked and active in school sports and politics. While Wayne became more outgoing as they grew older, Will became more reserved. The now-65-year-olds say their classmates always thought of them as "the twins" even though it was apparent to the Rapps how different they were. "I really wanted people to recognize our differences rather than always seeing our similarities," says Will.

Indeed, this is the challenge that parents of multiples face: How can they support and nurture their multiples' individual personalities?

The first step is to anticipate variety. "Since fraternal twins are no more genetically alike than any other siblings, we should expect differences – just as we would expect our singleton sons and daughters to be different," says Maureen O'Brien, developmental psychologist and director of parenting and child development for The First Years, a company who produces parenting products. "If twins are identical, the differences might not be so apparent at first, but they're there! It matters because we need to respect each one's temperament from the start."

Some typical temperament characteristics that may vary, according to O'Brien, include level of activity (active or quiet), soothability, distractibility, adaptability to change and intensity of reaction (loud or soft cries and laughs). For instance, some babies take longer to eat or are more easygoing. "We don't treat all adults the same, so why would we do so with kids?" says O'Brien, also the mother of 10-year-old twins. "It's not favoritism, it's responding in a way that works best."

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