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To Have and to Hold, and Hold and Hold
Can New Parents Hold Their Newborns Too Much?
By Keath Castelloe Low
You've waited so long for your beautiful baby to arrive. She is finally here and all you want to do is love her, protect her, nurture her and hold her – and hold her, and hold her...
Janene Mascarella, a mom from Miller Place, N.Y., admits she was a "hold, hold, holder" for both of her children. "In fact, I think my shoulders still hurt from all that holding," says Mascarella, a freelance writer who mastered the art of the one-hand type, writing entire articles while her baby snoozed in her arms.
Robin Lucas, a Columbia, S.C., mom, was also able to develop one-hand skills while holding her baby. "I held her while sitting on the toilet," she says. "I held her while eating. I put her in a sling while cooking and cleaning. I even held her while sleeping. I slept sitting up with her on my chest. I actually held her so much, she never got the bald spot on the back of her head!"
Dr. Robin Altman, chief of General Pediatrics at Maria Fareri Children's Hospital at Westchester Medical Center, notes that when a baby is very young, holding serves an important function. "Your baby is learning to trust you and rely on you to comfort her," says Dr. Altman. "Holding comforts, soothes, decreases crying, develops trust and establishes a bond between Mother and Baby."
Dr. Altman adds that holding is not only beneficial to a baby, but also to the mother. As a new mom, we crave contact and cuddling with our newborn. Maternal instincts take over and this closeness and touch provides a comfort and pleasure to us, as well. Lucas agrees. As a first-time mom without extended family support nearby, she found that holding her baby filled a need. "Holding her soothed me because I felt alone and isolated from adult life," Lucas says.
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