'Tis the season for turkey and tinsel and stars and menorahs and family celebrations. Sounds great, but there's one problem: You have what's euphemistically called a "blended family." That means 'tis also the season for clashing schedules, strained visits with ex-spouses, stressed-out kids and way too many gifts to buy.

You love your children – be they biological, "step" or some of each – and you want them to have joyful holiday memories. But sometimes you wish you could pull a "holiday Rip Van Winkle" – fall asleep in November and wake up in January.

Stephan Poulter, a licensed clinical psychologist with a private practice in West Los Angeles, Calif., and author of Father Your Son: How to Become the Father You've Always Wanted to Be (McGraw-Hill, 2004), feels your pain. Not only is he a divorced dad himself, he spends much of his time counseling clients on how to navigate the blended family minefield. He knows that the typical problems tend to assert themselves even more strongly around the holidays.

"Figures from the 2000 census bureau indicate that 67 percent of all families are 'blended,'" Poulter says. "So you certainly aren't alone in dreading the holidays. Even 'traditional' families find this time of year stressful. When you add custody issues, logistical problems and emotional baggage left over from divorce, it's easy to see why the five weeks or so between Thanksgiving and New Year's can be difficult. But you can make the holidays fun and relaxing, not just for your kids, but for yourself."

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