Kasie was 7 weeks old yesterday. This is all so different than pregnancy. During the pregnancy, I counted down each and every week, wishing and hoping for it to go by quickly, all the while dreading for it to end.

Now with each week that goes by, I realize it is a week I will never have again, and nestled somewhere in that week is a first that Kasie will never have again. Even if it isn't a real evident first, such as a first smile or laugh – even if it's just the first time she feels the softness of the chenille stuffed toy someone gave her or the first time she sees a sunset – these are firsts that cannot be relived. It's amazing that every single day Kasie learns something new about herself or the world around her. Every morning there's the promise of a new experience, a new feeling, something unknown.

As each week goes by, I think of all the new things she must have experienced, must have noticed – but hasn't been able to tell me about – and I think of all the new things ahead of her – the things that she can tell me about and the things that she can show me.

The early days of my pregnancy: What an exciting time those first few weeks were. So expectant, so much anticipation and worry. I remember I had no symptoms at first, so I assumed something was wrong. Then I got symptoms and if I felt good at any time, I would wonder why they went away. I've been depressed about not being pregnant for a while now. I guess I view it all as the end because I know it's highly unlikely that my husband – several years my senior – will want another child.

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