In 1989, when my first child was a year old, I decided that sharing a nanny with other parents in my neighborhood was a perfect solution to my daycare dilemmas. It would provide my son with social interaction, keep him in the neighborhood while I worked from home, allow us to grow closer to our neighbors and reduce my daycare costs. However, I didn't know I needed advanced degrees in community organizing, assertiveness, mind-reading and personality disorders to make such a venture work for my family.

A few days after I launched my daycare dream, two frantic neighbors showed up at my doorstep at 8:30 a.m. with their 1-year-olds in tow. They knew they were early, but had meetings scheduled, they said. Could I watch their kids until the nanny arrived?

Ten minutes later, my nanny called to say she was sick and I was left alone with three 1-year-olds and a magazine article due in a few hours.

About a year later, our nanny decided to bring her 5-year-old nephew to work. "He'll help take care of the other kids," she promised. That day, the 5-year-old set fire to my house. The children escaped uninjured, but I was left with the task of rebuilding my home while a trio of 2-year-olds and their nanny played peek-a-boo in the charred remains of my once lovely home.

Eight years later, when I gave birth to my second child, and in spite of the obstacles, I decided that sharing a nanny would best serve our family's needs. With crushed neighborhood friendships, numerous outbreaks of head lice, a half-dozen nannies and a surprise house reconstruction behind me, I had uncovered the secrets of a successful nanny share.

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