Remember how it felt to be dumped by a teenager? For Lisa Earle McLeod, it wasn't that long ago. "We had an au pair from South Africa who was wonderful with the baby, but not so great about picking up after herself," says the mother of two from Georgia and author of Forget Perfect (Perigee Books, 2001). The 18-year-old au pair was used to having someone tidy up after her. "After a day at work, I didn't want to come home and clean up the mess made by my two kids, much less the babysitter!" says McLeod.

What's a mom to do? "Negative behavior is hard to address with the nanny – you don't want to upset her then leave her to care for your children all day," says McLeod. Instead, McLeod kept quiet, content that her children were being well cared for, even if the house was a wreck.

Eventually it was the au pair who decided to approach McLeod. "She sat me down and told me that she wasn't happy and was going to work for another family," she says. "I was devastated! I just wanted to go upstairs, get under the covers and hide in my room."

That's one of the disadvantages of in-home childcare – who is the backup when the babysitter says "goodbye"? As with all childcare options, the advantages and disadvantages must be weighed before deciding which method is right for your family.

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