You're standing in a long line at the grocery store that is moving very slowly, if at all. You sigh and settle in for the wait. In front of you is a harried looking young mother with a baby and preschooler. The preschooler keeps trying to wander away while the baby is sleeping. He wriggles out of Mom's grasp and starts grabbing candy. When Mom demands he put it back, he throws some on the floor and crams the rest, wrapper and all, in his mouth. He dances out of Mom's reach and starts looking for more things to grab. She goes after him, pulling him very hard by the arm. He begins to cry. She hits him. Twice. Hard. He cries harder. The baby wakes up and starts crying, too. You see the whole thing. What should you do?

"We often witness children suffering in our own world. A tired parent, at the end of a stressful day, stops at the grocery store for dinner items with his cranky child," says Mimi Doe, M.Ed. and author of Busy But Balanced: Practical and Inspirational Ways to Create a Calmer, Closer Family. "He loses patience and his child suffers. We'd like to speak up, but we hesitate. Is it our business to intervene? And if we do, will we antagonize the parent, putting the child at even greater risk? Or perhaps we are imagining what we thought we saw, and speaking up would only make us look the fool. There seems to be a common assumption in our society that intervening on behalf of a child in a public place is a dangerous thing to do."

According to Doe, there is a way to offer help without attacking the parent. "'How could you treat your child like that?' would elicit a different reaction from 'It looks like you're having some difficulty. Is there anything I can do to help you out?'" she says. "Then follow through with specific ways you might help: offer to find groceries, entertain the child for five minutes, give the child a small treat to keep her occupied. A friend of ours always carries stickers and honey sticks in her purse for just this reason. The child is happier from this unexpected gift, and the parent is usually quite grateful."

Carolyn McHenry, a child protection manager in Hennepin County, Minn., partially agrees with Doe's suggestions. "It can be helpful to offer support," she says. "It can give the parent a moment to just step back, out of the immediate situation." However, in addition to supporting the parent, McHenry advises that you contact the police and perhaps the local social service agency that deals in child protection.

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