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Confessions of the Childless Guy

Learning to be a Friend to New Parents

By Scott Engmann

The following day, I was heading off to the local coffee shop, where I used to meet Heath and get caught up. Before I left, I called him to see if he would join me, and as expected he couldn't. He was in the middle of his morning session with his little girl, Olivia, who has been very reluctant to take the bottle, especially from him. She was crying and frustrating him immensely, and he was afraid to be in public at the coffee shop with a screaming baby, whom he could not control. As I was hanging up the phone with him, apologizing for yet another missed opportunity, he said: "You know, you could bring coffee and bagels to my place." I hesitated and said, "Yeah, that's a possibility...I'll see if I have time." As I drove toward the coffee shop, thinking about reading the paper and drinking a cup of my favorite blend, I had this gnawing sense that times had changed, and it was time for me to change, and meet my friends where they are in their new roles as parents, albeit much less centered on me.

I picked up the bagels and coffee and headed over to his place for an hour of playtime with Olivia. In turn, Heath was able to grab a quick shower and breakfast while I played my role as "Uncle" Scott, with his daughter. I have found that times have changed; maybe I am just a little slow to change, too.