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Postpartum Dad
Playing Problem Police
By Carma Haley
All night feedings, changing, rocking, soothing, tending to older children and to the house can take a lot out of even the most active parents. It's no surprise that there may be no time left for Mom and Dad to feel like a couple after having a new baby. But it is not hopeless. According to Deutsch, it's all about the planning. "It is important that couples make time to be couples especially after an addition to their family," Deutsch says. "By making a plan – and sticking to it – couples can find and enjoy enough time to talk to each other, hold hands and just enjoy the company of their partner. Hire a babysitter; ask for help from the grandparents; schedule time during naps; there are a thousand ways to plan for it. Even if it is only for an hour, it's an hour together and that's important."
"After the baby came I thought we would never be alone again," says Adam Shoemaker, a truck driver from Chester, Va. "There was always a feeding, a changing, a bath, a story for the older boys or even housework that needed to be done that seemed to take up all the time we had. But, we finally decided that we needed some time just to be together. And we made the time. It was hard leaving the baby but it was great to just talk to [my wife]. I missed it."
Problems are bound to happen regardless of the situation. But when parents work together to overcome, resolve or plan, the problems soon become a situation in passing. "Each child has two parents and each marriage has two partners," says Deutsch. "It's funny how these numbers match and how when they keep matching, things don't seem so overwhelming.
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