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Postpartum Dad

Supporting Your Partner

By Carma Haley

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"I did all I could to let my wife know that I was still attracted to her," says Carlton Stell, father of four from Petersburg, Va. "I would tell her how good she looked, how pretty she was, how much I loved her. I know she wanted to be with me, but that her body wasn't ready and I let her know that was fine. I didn't want her to do anything before she was ready – physically, mentally and emotionally. I could wait. And she told me more than once how much it meant to her that I was patient."

Shoemaker also practiced patient tenderness. "We did let each other know we were still attracted to each other, but until the doctor and she told me it was OK, I didn't mention sex or the lack of sex our marriage had," he says. "The hugging, kissing and touching we did kept the intimacy alive until we could welcome our sex life back."

Dad can also take pressure off Mom by cooking, cleaning or simply allowing her some alone time. The most important thing, says Deutsch, is to be there and to be Mom's partner."Regardless of how it is done, Dad is one of the best assets Mom can have when coming home with a new baby – and Dad can benefit from Mom as well. It's all about being a partner.

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