Paternal Playgroups

The Benefits of an All-Dads Group

By Teri Brown

Playgroups have become commonplace across our American landscape. Mothers shepherding their young children to indoor or outdoor play areas to play and socialize, while the mothers, themselves, chat and socialize. Most think it is a wonderful way to kill two birds with one stone: Their children get out of the house to spend time with other children, and they get out of the house to spend time with other mothers. But what about the thousands of stay-at-home or work-at-home dads across the country? Where do they go to socialize with other dads?

Traditional playgroups don't work for most men for a variety of reasons. Dan Berger, a stay-at-home dad from Libertyville, Ill., went to several meetings for young children at his church, and even though he felt that he and his children were well received, there was an undercurrent of discomfort that lingered.

"Not all of the moms had problems with a man in their midst mind you, but enough that I felt it best to stay away," says Berger, father of a 3-year-old and a 5-month-old. "I asked my wife if this was just something in my head, since she had attended one or two of these meetings during her maternity leave. She confirmed what I feared: Mothers With Young Children wasn't going to become 'Parents With Young Children' anytime soon."

Berger feels that one of the most compelling reasons for dads having their own playgroup is the social aspect. "The other factor here is simply a matter of finding a group of people who share the same lot as yourself," says Berger. "The problem I have found is that there can be something of a social disconnect between at-home dads and at-home moms. For example, many moms in the area we moved to are into those basket parties and scrapbooking. Needless to say, neither of those activities are my cup of tea. A group of at-home dads is going to have a different social dynamic than a mixed group of moms and dads, because dads share a common situation."

Want to see more?

• Playgro up Perks and Pitfalls: Moms Share Their Experiences
• Making Playgroups Work for You and Your Toddler
• The Trials and Tribulations of a Stay-at-Home Dad: Parenting Is Tougher Than the Army
• Talk about it!