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Home › Articles › Fatherhood › All Alone?

All Alone?

Why Alone Time Can Be a Good Thing

By Mark Stackpole

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While neither an avid hunter or bowler, Wallace does like some time to recuperate. "I go into my office, which has comfortable furniture, a TV and a computer," he says. "I get some alone time, but I am also still home. I can step out of the chaos for a little while, but I can step back in when I am needed." What he would like most is more time with his wife, Lisetta. "I don't want 'alone time' so much as I want 'adult time' with my wife. I never thought I would say it, but I miss our quiet conversations."

Brott calls it the "flight attendant theory." In the unlikely event of the loss of cabin pressure, flight attendants instruct adults to put on their oxygen masks and then help children. "The same is true with alone time – you can't help others with their needs if your needs aren't being met," Brott says. "Dads who are stressed aren't going to be truly 'there' when they're with their kids. Getting some alone time will make a dad a better father."

Alone Time Options for Dads
  • Get up a few minutes early and do some meditation or exercise.
  • Take a class in something you used to do before you became a parent.
  • Hit some softballs at a batting cage.
  • Go away for a weekend with the guys.
  • Write in a journal.

"Just the Two of Us" Alone Time

In addition to any literal "alone time" that Dad may get, there are ways for Dad to recharge his batteries while in the company of family. For instance, it is important that parents remember to schedule some alone time for each other as a couple, away from the kids. "The better Mom and Dad feel about their marriage, the better they'll be able to parent and the more supportive they'll be of each other and of the other person's need for alone time," says Armin Brott.


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