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Home › Articles › Preparing for Baby › Tiny Siblings, Big Concerns

Tiny Siblings, Big Concerns

Common Sibling Issues When Children Are Close in Age

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Touch-and-feel books and lift-the-flap books are also good choices, Low says. "Plus, they add that extra tactile element and sense of fun while reading," she says.

My 3-year-old says all the time that he does not like his baby brother, who is 4 months old. This crushes me, though I know he doesn't mean it. What should I do?

Low says you are right. "It isn't that your older son doesn't like his baby brother personally," she says. "It is more likely that he doesn't like the changes his baby brother brings about. Things are different now at home, and your older child may be struggling to adjust."

Before his brother came around, your 3-year-old had you all to himself, Low says. "Not only is the routine at home different, now your older son is no longer the center of attention," she says. "He must share your attention with this little baby, who certainly requires a lot!"

The most important way to help your son adjust is to spend lots and lots of one-on-one time with him. "When the baby is napping, make an extra effort to focus your attention on your 3-year-old," Low says. "One great way to do this is to read together. Try to also include some books that address the sibling issue. I'm a Big Brother (HarperCollins, 2004) by Joanna Cole and Maxie Chambliss is a wonderful book for big brothers. The book helps older siblings in defining their identity after a baby joins the family. It also addresses all the great things a big brother can do that a baby is not yet able to do, highlighting the fun parts about being older."

You can also enlist your son's help with household chores. "Have him help you put the wet clothes in the dryer," Low says. "When they are dry, he can help you match socks and sort the clothes. As you clean the dishes, hand him spoons, cups, etc. to put in the dishwasher. Get the broom and dustpan out and let him hold the dustpan as you sweep crumbs into it. These are simple tasks that boost your child's feelings of importance while also reaping the joys of being together with just you."


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