LOVE That Baby!

12 Tips to a Show Love to Baby and Yourself

By I.J. Schecter

From the moment you see that magical blue stripe emerge, your emotional universe undergoes a hard shift. Though the creature indicated by the stripe is miniscule, it still has the power to preoccupy you completely. Though you've never been a parent before, you suddenly feel you've become one, fully formed. Though you never really noticed kids before, now you find yourself conducting an ongoing scan of strollers, diaper bags, rattles and pacifiers.

It's true that parental instincts kick in with sudden and irrefutable force the moment you discover you're going to be responsible for a child. But instincts alone don't make you an effective parent. Let's look more closely at LOVE to extract some tips that will help ensure you and your baby have the best shared experience you possibly can.

Lower your voice.
Babies cry. It's what they have to do to communicate (or at least to try to communicate). Sometimes the crying lasts seconds, sometimes minutes and sometimes a seeming eternity. Regardless of the true reason for the cry – your baby might be hungry, tired, cold, hot, otherwise uncomfortable, annoyed, bored, ticked off that you stopped playing the funny-face game after only 15 minutes or, maybe, she just feels like crying – the worst thing you can do is try to shout over her volume. Your baby feeds off your energy constantly. In other words, the more worked up you get, the more worked up Baby gets. So when you're mid-diaper change and the little one is shrieking at the top of her lungs (and gasping for air to really drive the point home), don't let the visceral response you inevitably experience inside translate to external tension. Maintain a calm, slow voice, sing a little song and reassure your precious one everything is OK. Your insides may be saying, "Stop crying already!" but make your voice say, "Mommy loves you, sweet cookie."

Lie down.
No matter how much you love your baby, you're also going to experience a quality of exhaustion you never knew existed. That you take care of yourself properly is essential to the health of both you and the little bundle in your charge. This means accepting help when it's offered and, to the extent you can, giving up control from time to time. When your mother-in-law offers to take care of the baby for the couple of hours between feedings, don't fret about whether she's going to hold her properly or know her favorite tunes. Say yes. When your neighbors offer to cater you a dinner, don't graciously decline; graciously accept. When your husband offers to take the baby for a walk, don't worry about whether he's going to dress her adequately. Grab some sleep instead. In the end, both you and your baby will be better for it.

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• Check out our Article Library.
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