Off to Work We Go?

Two Dads Sound Off

By Donna Smith

New mothers debating whether to go back to work or become a stay-at-home mom is nothing new. But today, more and more fathers are deciding to take on the role as the stay-at-home parent. The traditional "working man" will never go out of style, however, and many men feel that working outside the home makes them an even better parent when they are home. Two fathers explain why the decision to stay home or work was the right one for their family.

"Working makes me a better dad because it gives me time to recoup," says Todd Franco, a father of three from Erie, Penn. "It gives me a chance to be an adult and not have the demands of home to deal with. The good thing is when the day is done, I feel refreshed and much more equipped to deal with my home life. That makes me feel good about the time I spend with my family and, in turn, translates to me feeling good about the time I spend at work."

Patience is also an issue. "As much as I appreciate the important job my wife does at home, I know that I do not have the patience that is required to be with children all day, every day," says Franco. "I have to have things done just so, and that doesn't fit well into a child's world. I am a very organized, clutter-free person. I can deal with disorder part of the day, but I can't handle it all day."

Franco believes that, in general, a mother has stronger parenting skills. "Children spend nine months intimately connected with their mothers and continue that connection through breastfeeding," he says. "That has to count for something – something I could never exactly replicate."

Providing for his family is important to Franco, but he gives his wife credit. "I know my wife could provide for our family, financially – maybe even better than I can," he says. "Still, there is a part of me that heavily identifies with the role of provider, but it's more than that. If I left medicine today, I would miss the patient contact, the feeling you get when you make the right diagnosis – solving the puzzle. All of those things define my picture of success. They challenge me and make me feel proud of myself. I have to believe that my children benefit from that example. They see me setting goals, attaining them and being truly happy."

Want to see more?

• Making Change Work: Husbands and Wives in Stay-at-home-Dad Families
• Pressure to Provide: Balancing the Responsibilities of Father and Husband
• Stepping Off the Curb: Redefining Your Career Path
• Working at Home: Is It for You?
• Stay-at-home Dads Discussion Board
• The Dads Place