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Cry It Out?
Ferberizing Without Tears
By I.J. Schecter
, first so it will become second nature quickly once you put it into practice. If you administer the visits inconsistently, you can end up doing more harm than good.
4. Have long-term vision – Don't think about what you're doing in the context of upcoming days or weeks. Think about how everything you do for your baby now has long-term implications and how you'll be able to tell him one day what a great sleeper he was at an early age. (You don't have to mention that you played a significant part in this.) To remind yourself of the good you're doing, after you've Ferberized successfully on a given night and your baby is asleep, reward yourself by sneaking in and staring at the magical sight of that beautiful face dreaming away, that little chest rising and falling, that excited brain making countless new connections every second without even trying. Then look at each other, kiss and get some sleep.
5. Determine a logical schedule for you – Numerous factors are important in deciding who should go into the baby's room for which visits. Does one of you have a fixed work schedule and not the other? Is one of you more nocturnal? Does one of you have generally higher metabolism? Do you feel similarly tired, or does one of you feel more emotionally worn? (Be honest about this with each other – it's not always necessarily Mom who comes apart first.) The best thing either of you can do for the other when you're feeling like you can't handle it is to say, "Honey, I feel like I can't handle it right now," because if you feel like you're at the end of your rope, you are, and it's best you take some time to collect yourself before returning to help take care of the baby.
6. Talk to others
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