Cry It Out?

Ferberizing Without Tears

By I.J. Schecter

As new parents, you have a lot to deal with: a steep learning curve, friends and relatives constantly giving you well-meaning (but potentially grating) advice and a level of exhaustion you've heard about from others but mostly dismissed as melodrama. Now you've discovered the fatigue is real, in much the same way as you might discover quicksand is real if suddenly caught in it. The good news: All new parents go through this, so you're not alone. The bad news: Knowing this doesn't make one bit of difference to the sleep-deprived delirium you seem to be slogging through.

For the first few months, you're going to have to deal with it. Newborns wake up every few hours, and you can't change this fact. After the first several months, however, your baby will become more adaptable, so you'll have the opportunity to implement routines that will help him achieve positive sleep habits.

The most popular technique in this regard is "Ferberizing," a system proposed by Dr. Richard Ferber, director of the Center for Pediatric Sleep Disorders at Children's Hospital in Boston, Mass. The Ferber Method involves letting your infant cry for pre-determined, increasing intervals, at each of which you briefly soothe and reassure him without picking him up, rocking or feeding him, nor spending an undue amount of time in the room.

Suggested for infants 6 months or older, Ferberizing can be wrenching, but it does work for most who try it. The point of this article is not to suggest whether or not you should Ferberize, but rather to offer some important tips to keep in mind if you do try.

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