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Home › Articles › Fatherhood › Bonding Before Birth

Bonding Before Birth

Get Dad Involved in the Pregnancy

By Teri Brown

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These activities during pregnancy are crucial in parental bonding and will hold them in good stead as they adjust to the challenges of a new baby. "I have heard of mothers and fathers creating body plasters of the pregnant mother's belly together," says Dr. Hoffman-Smith. "This is an activity that you can really have fun with."

Belly casting involves creating a Plaster of Paris cast of the mother's burgeoning body to commemorate the birth. Some birthing centers offer casting workshops, and there are kits available as well.

Dr. Hoffman-Smith also suggests the liberal use of camcorders. "A father who is recording the prenatal visits and the ultrasounds is participating in a very real way," he says. "Anything you do to make the baby more real to the father deepens the experience for everyone involved."

Other ideas to include the father in the pregnancy and birth experience:

  • The baby shower can be adapted to include the father as well as the mother. If the father is uncomfortable with playing games and other shower-type activities, perhaps it can be altered to become more of a celebration among friends.
  • Take a massage class together. This gives the father the tools he needs to truly make a difference in how his wife feels.
  • Take birthing classes together. Dr. Hoffman-Smith warns that not all classes meet everyone's needs. "It's not a cookie-cutter, one-size-fits-all experience," Dr. Hoffman-Smith says. "Communicate with one another what sort of birth you would like to have before you choose what kind of birthing classes you want." Plan and design the nursery together. The act of choosing cribs and other baby furniture brings parents closer together.
  • Keep journals. "Being a father is a huge part of how men view themselves," says Dr. Hoffman-Smith. "Journaling can help fathers, especially new fathers, come to terms with how they feel about the changes their lives are undergoing."

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