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Bonding Before Birth

Get Dad Involved in the Pregnancy

By Teri Brown

While June is the month we celebrate Father's Day, every day can be a celebration of fathers and children if you look for ways to promote bonding – even before birth.

Linda Sherwood from Merritt, Mich., found a unique way to involve her husband in their first child's prenatal development – even while he attended basic training several hundred miles away. "Instead of the normal updates, I would use my left hand to write 'Dear Daddy' letters from our unborn child," says Sherwood, who is right-handed. "I'd include info about developmental stages mixed with info from the latest doctor's appointment and ultrasound pictures."

It was important to both Sherwoods that Steve feel he was a part of the process, even though he couldn't participate in the traditional sense. "He wasn't there day to day to see my belly or to feel the baby kick," says Sherwood. "So I did this to help make it real to him."

The Sherwoods found an unusual way to make fatherhood come alive for Steve, even when he couldn't be there. But the father doesn't have to be far away to feel a little disconnected from the whole pregnancy process. The key to a lifetime of happy Father's Days lies in finding ways for the father to connect deeply with both his wife and his child.

Dr. Edwin Hoffman-Smith of the Natural Childbirth Family Clinic in Portland, Ore., believes the most important thing in being an involved father is communication between the spouses throughout the entire process. "Choosing a birthing process, attending prenatal visits and acting as your wife's birthing coach are all activities that will bring the mother and father closer," he says.

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