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Self-calming Techniques
Tips to Help Small Children Learn to Self-calm
By Jacqueline Bodnar
"Landon has been able to calm himself through the use of his pacifier," says Christine Lefler of Daytona Beach, Fla. "As soon as he puts it in his mouth, his entire demeanor changes. He is calm, quiet and much more relaxed. I realize he shouldn't be on it for much longer, but it sure helps to soothe him when needed."
Lefler is one of the many in-tune parents who have identified a way to help their child self-calm. While her 19-month-old son won't be turning to the pacifier forever, he's learning an important skill along with the process. He's finding that he can take control of his emotions and calm himself down when he's upset. Later on, he'll be able to transition that same energy into some other technique that's more age-appropriate at the time. Teaching children how to self-calm is an important tool in helping them get along in life.
"Self-calming is the ability of a person (whether child or adult) to regulate their emotional well-being," says Elizabeth Crary, author of several books on the subject, including Dealing with Disappointment: Helping Kids Cope When Things Don't Go Their Way (Parenting Press, 2003) and Self-calming Cards (Parenting Press). "The ability to control feelings is useful for several reasons. First and foremost, kids will simply feel better."
When children can take control of how they express their feelings, they feel much more in control of their life because they are making the decision about how to respond to a situation. Children will also be able to think more clearly.
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