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Home › Articles › Behavior › When Lovey Is Lost

When Lovey Is Lost

Ways to Prevent It and Helping Your Child Cope

By Renee Roberson

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Hard to Say Goodbye
As parents, we all are forced to get creative at some point in order to encourage our children to do things they may not want to do, such as moving to a "big bed," eating broccoli or putting on underwear and learning to use the potty. Helping a child recover from losing a lovey often requires unique positioning and persuasion as well.

"In some situations, it may be appropriate to help your child say goodbye to that security object," Glasser says. "In others, however, the best approach may be to introduce an alternative lovey – or some alternative way – for your child to self-soothe. This decision will vary depending on your child's age, stage and degree of attachment to the lovey."

If your child loses a lovey around a certain holiday, use it to put a positive spin on the loss. For example, if the event happens around Easter or Christmas, you can have the Easter Bunny or Santa Claus leave a new toy for your child to help ease the pain of the loss and take your child's mind off the event.

Or turn the loss into something positive and say something like, "Well, I guess this must mean you're really growing up. I know you'll miss Teddy, but I'm sure he's been adopted by a good family with a little boy or girl who will take care of him just like you did."

You could also sit down with your child and write a goodbye letter where you talk about where the lovey came from, the fun places it went and why it was your child's favorite. If you're lucky enough to have a photograph of your child with the lovey, you could frame the letter with it and hang it on your child's wall as a memento. Make a big deal out of taking your child to his favorite toy store and letting him pick out a new friend.


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