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Home › Articles › Behavior › Beyond Laughter

Beyond Laughter

The Hidden Power of Tickling

By Mark Stackpole

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Following Their Cues
Moxie Smith of New York City, N.Y., is the stay-at-home mother of two, and one of her main goals as a parent is to make sure that her children have a truly healthy respect for, and control of, their own bodies. As children mature into adults, this positive relationship with their bodies may manifest itself as a comfort with physical intimacy and the understanding that it is acceptable to defend their own space.

All types of physical contact can be either valuable or violating, and tickling is no different. Smith sees tickling as an opportunity to help children learn how to feel safe physically and that they have the right to control what happens to their body.

"If teaching your children this message is your ultimate goal, then tickling becomes a way to give your child pleasure, to teach her to be able to tell what feels good and what feels bad, and how to express those feelings," Smith says. "It also teaches her that she won't be hurt by people who love her, and that adults will stop when she says stop."

How did Smith learn what her children liked and what they didn't? She and her husband would try new things and watch how they reacted. If the children smiled or laughed, Smith and her husband would try it again. If the kids pulled away or grimaced, then they would stop immediately and then follow up with a hug.

"One of the things our kids particularly seemed to like was having their bellies 'zerberted,'" Smith says. "It made thm laugh and laugh, and when they were around a year old, both of them started to do it back to us." (For those who may be unfamiliar with a "zerbert," it is a term coined by comedian Bill Cosby. It refers to the act of creating a seal between the mouth and skin and then blowing, which produces an amusing sound and tickling sensation.)


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