An Adoptive Family Holiday

How New Families Can Cope with the Chaos

By Mark Stackpole

The arrival of a child changes everything, and at no time are those changes more apparent than during the holiday season. The shopping is a bit more complicated, but the gifts are more meaningful. Trips to see family are more inconvenient, but there is more incentive to take them. The holidays are a very busy time of year, and having a child around will only make them busier. Of course, having a child around also makes all of the craziness seem worth it.

For the White family of Cleveland, Ohio, this holiday season promises to be much different from previous ones. Lauri White and her husband, John, recently welcomed 2-year-old Amy into their lives. As an adoptive family facing their first holiday season together, the Whites are looking forward to more than just the typical holiday cheer.

It didn't take long for Amy, adopted from Russia, to have an impact on the way that White makes her holiday plans. "I typically host a family party, and this year I want to scale back," she says. "I want to be able to spend time with my daughter and enjoy the holidays instead of being the hostess." She admits to feeling some guilt over this desire but is grateful for the support that she has received from her family.

In addition to the logistics of surviving the holiday season, White is paying careful attention to some of the new emotional issues that now run through her family ties. As can be expected, new arrival Amy has been in the spotlight, for which White is both grateful and wary.

Despite her belief in fairness, White readily admits that it is difficult for her to stop family from spoiling her little girl. "They say things like, 'She went without for so long,' or "She is just so special,'" she says. "I can see this being an issue with her first Christmas coming up."

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