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Home › Articles › Motherhood › Stress and the Single Mom

Stress and the Single Mom

Ways to Relieve Your Tension

By Jennifer Lacey

Pages:  1  2  3  4  5  

  • Make sure the task you assign your child is age or developmentally appropriate. "There are lots of age-appropriate tasks," Jornsay-Hester says. "Individual development and safety must be taken into account." For example, a 2-year-old may not be capable of carrying the silverware and glasses to the table, but he could carry napkins or vegetables to the table for dinner.
  • Assign small tasks. "If parents are giving out tasks, make sure the child doesn't find the task to be too overwhelming," Onghai says. If the child finds the task to be too large or too difficult, it can actually undermine self-esteem. If the task is a big one, break it into smaller pieces so the child can handle it without being overwhelmed.
  • Make it fun. Helping Mommy or Daddy can be a game when it's time to pick up clothing or toys. "Help them or play a game while completing the task," Jornsay-Hester says. "Then the child learns that everyone has to work, but work can be fun."
  • Give praise and reinforcement. "Everyone responds better to positive reinforcement," Jornsay-Hester says. "We want to praise good behavior to get them to do it again." Jornsay-Hester says it is important to focus on what the child did rather than on the child himself. Instead of saying, "What a good boy you are!" say "What a good helper you are!"
  • Focus on the efforts and not the results. Onghai says it is important to focus on the process the child follows while helping the parent with a project instead of on the result. "It may be easier or faster for you to do it yourself, but it's important to give your child te opportunity to help," Jornsay-Hester says. The cookies may not taste right or the laundry may turn colors, but the child put forth effort to help Mom or Dad and should be rewarded.

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