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A Year Ago...
Grand Prize Winner of the "Dear Baby" Essay Contest! By Gina Shulse
Dear Son,
A year ago today, my dream was finally coming true. A year ago today I had not yet met you, touched you, seen you or heard your voice, but I knew you. I had felt you, dreamed about you and fallen in love with you long before that day. But still, I had no idea what to expect from you. I had no idea that you would bring so much love, joy, pain and fear. I had no idea you'd be such a difficult eater, or that you would be jaundiced. I didn't even really know what that meant for you. I had no idea that this day would bring three days of separation before I could bring you home and keep you. I had no idea if I'd ever stop crying every time I looked at you. And I never dreamed you'd be so tiny! I knew you'd be precious and that I'd love you from the start, but I didn't know you'd sleep for at least six weeks and that I would beam with such pride every time I saw those precious eyes opened.
A year ago today, I knew you'd be fun, but I didn't know you'd be a fun baby, or that entertaining you would be so easy! All we'd have to do was sing or smile or make a silly face. I never realized what wonders a mirror could be to a baby until I met you. I had no idea how I'd actually look forward to changing your diaper because the attention would make you so happy. I never knew you could have both your Daddy's lips and my smile at the same time. I just knew at the time that you'd be beautiful and you'd be mine.
A year ago today, I lived only on a prayer that you'd be everything we hoped. But you've already given us a thousand times more than we could have dreamed.
A year ago, I knew it would be difficult to get out of bed to take care of you in the night, but I had no idea how much harder it would be to stay there and worry or to let you cry. I never would have guessed how much pain it would bring me to let you out of my arms or my sight, even though I know you're OK. I never would have guessed how much a part of me you had actually become.
