No One Told Me That!

10 Things to Do or Have before Bringing Baby Home

By Linda Sharp

I attended a baby shower for a good friend recently, and as are all baby showers, it was a happy, uplifting affair. It was also extremely funny. Well, at least funny for me. You see, this is a first baby for my much younger friend, and as most of the attendees were in her same age range and still childless, I felt a little like Grandma Moses.

No, not because I have a flock of crows nesting around my eyes – I happen to be the queen of wrinkle-fighting creams and firming potions – but because, with three children of my own whose ages range from 9 to 14, I have enough experience to fill a dozen What to Expect ... books. So I found myself called upon to impart wisdom and experience to this much younger, and woefully naive, set of ladies.

I fielded questions ranging from the pain of childbirth to the pain of getting hubby to help, from breast versus bottle to cloth versus disposable. The questions I found most intriguing: "What should I do?" and "What do I really need before the baby comes?"

It was apparent, by the wide eyes, "wows" and "no one told me thats" that perhaps my years of childbearing and rearing have afforded me more than stretch marks that resemble the topography of Tibet and magenta eye circles from countless sleepless nights. To that end, I humbly share with you the top 10 things you should really do and have before bringing home your baby:

1. Hubby Heart-to-Heart: You've been intimate enough to create a life, but for some reason, many people balk at having this basic conversation with their spouse. You need to discuss your expectations and his prior to the baby being in the crib. Much of how we plan to parent and distribute the responsibilities of childcare draw directly from our experiences growing up – especially what we didn't like. So begin an open dialogue early in your pregnancy, when it's still just the two of you. His first notice that you expect him to wake up, with you, when the baby feeds at night, should not come via your foot in his sleeping backside.

2. Romantic Getaway: Sure, your burgeoning belly may not seem like the sexiest accessory in the world, but your pre-baby time is when you really need to romance one another. Plan a romantic getaway, even if it's just a weekend, to enjoy the freedom of being childfree and the ability to concentrate solely on one another. Your love for one another should be at its strongest as you head into your ninth month because once the baby arrives, life, your ability to come and go as you please and your time to dote on one another changes dramatically. (Once the baby arrives, date nights – even if they are confined to the house – become a relationship priority.)

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