Bye, Bye Babysitter

Parting With the Perfect Sitter Is Such Sweet Sorrow

By Lyn Mettler

who hands out a couple swats here and there when he's finally had enough of Patrick's "love." And still, every now and then, Patrick has a "crying" day – not fun for anyone – but our sitter took it all in stride, handling him with caring and patience.

But, as all sitters must at some point or another, this one had to leave after our August-to-May romance, as she was graduating college and moving on. It just so happened, over the last month or two before she left, Patrick had really become a much happier boy during his time with her, rarely shedding a tear when I passed him over to her, and I even heard lots of giggles and squeals while I worked from inside my office – a sound that warms the heart of any mom, especially one who's trying to work with peace of mind. I think he'd finally grown to accept and love her.

Little did he know that the sitter he had grown so fond of was about to leave. On her final day, he was all smiles during her entire visit. I guess he wanted to go out on a good note. As we said our last goodbyes – and she gave Patrick the book she'd bought for him as a final going away present, and we passed on her graduation gift and wished her luck – Patrick waved. He never waves. At least not until about five minutes after the person leaves. And then when she waved goodbye back and shut the door behind her, he whined and reached out for the door over and over, something he'd also never done for her before.

It tore my hart and I started to cry. Who would have thought my child and I would become so attached to a sitter? That had never occurred to me. I was so sad to lose this woman who had grown to love our boy and know him inside out, better than anyone else besides his dad and me.

But it wasn't just that our final farewell brought me to tears, but the fact that somehow he sensed this was it – goodbye – really struck me. It amazes me how much he understands, yet just can't communicate yet. It still tugs at my heart – this first loss and first final goodbye for my child. The first of many, I know. If I can't even handle a sitter leaving, where does that leave me – and him – when his first love moves on or when a family member dies? Or even when another sitter leaves and he's even older and really understands

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