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Dads Are New to the Job, Too
Helping Your Partner Settle into Fatherhood
By Alex Powell
However, you'll find a common pitfall to Dad's involvement – especially in the important early weeks – will come in the form of people who may be clinging to old-fashioned concepts of baby care. "It can be a real issue, particularly with grandmothers, who either want to do it all or want to show us everything we are doing wrong," says Bishop.
The typical guy reaction? Just hand the baby over to Grandma and walk away from the situation. How to fight back? Encourage your guy to stand his ground, perhaps even show off a little in front of the naysayers, says Bishop.
Don't forget you're a team. This is a huge issue, says Bishop, and one that is often overlooked. "New moms naturally become very focused on the baby, and dads understand that," he says. "But I think moms need to understand that dads do miss them and that there is still a life beyond the baby."
Try to keep in mind that your partner is going through a huge transition, just as you are. Find ways to spend time doing things together – sometimes with the baby (remember, newborns are very portable) and other times just as a couple. Remember to keep talking to each other. "I think that even early on, the relationship outside the baby gives balance to both dads and moms," says Bishop. "It strengthens their teamwork for the long run, which is really what you're trying to do."
And finally, be patient, adds Gallanis. Nervousness around the baby usually only goes on for a few weeks at most. "Pretty soon, he'll be changing diapers, clothes and bathing the baby like a pro," he says.
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