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Home › Articles › Guiding Baby's Development › Encouraging Individuality

Encouraging Individuality

Why You Each Need Time Alone with Baby

By Gina Roberts-Grey

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It's always puzzling when a parent is in a room with a child, yet the child goes to the other parent who's in another room to ask for something to eat or for permission to go outside and play. Parents frequently notice that their children primarily communicate with their primary or dominant caregiver. Babies cry if one parent leaves the room and become dependent on the person who spends a great deal of time with them. Older children routinely confide in only one parent or ask the same parent for help with homework.

As they develop, children tend to present their problems to, ask for help from and rely on one parent more than the other. These subconscious actions often hurt the feelings of the parent who appears to be invisible and leaves them questioning their relationship with the child.

When a baby cries if one parent leaves the room but not the other, does that mean he loves one parent more than the other? Will he have a strong relationship with both parents as he develops into a toddler and adolescent?

Your baby's actions do not represent unbalanced affection for his parents. "These actions are an expression of your child's relationship with each of his parents as individuals," says Cecilia Shukar, a life coach and speaker from Spokane, Wash.

Sharing Time
It's natural for new parents to spend relaxing moments and weekend time together as a couple with their baby. The excitement of sharing precious time as a family is a natural motivator to introducing him to your interests and lifestyle. You want to be able to take part in every aspect of his life together as the family relationships blossom. Between adapting to all the personal and relationship changes when you have a baby, and his irresistibly charismatic way of wrapping you around his finger, you both want to spend as much time as possible with your baby.


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