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We're Having Another Baby!

Welcoming Your Second Child

By Jessica Williams

If your mother-in-law calls and says she is flying in to "help you out," you might want to set certain guidelines. Most helpers want to do the fun part: care for the baby. And who can blame them? But, everyone must realize that this is your job. You need help around the house and possibly with your older child, not with the baby. When people ask what they can do to help, don't be shy. Here are some things to ask for:

• Frozen meals. If a family member or friend loves to cook, ask for a few casseroles or other dishes that can be popped in the oven on nights when you're tired.
• Shopping runs. It may be more difficult to shop when recovering from birth, or nursing frequently. Have a friend take your list the next time they shop for themselves.
• Laundry. With a newborn and a toddler, you can bet you will have a ton of laundry to do. If your mom is staying with you for a visit, ask her to run a few loads.

Remind your helpers that newborns nurse very frequently, and that you both need your rest. Talk to your partner about how much help you really need and then agree on how many people will be in the house at once, and for how long. And don't be afraid to turn off the ringer on your phone and hang a "Family Quiet Time" note on your front door when you need to.

Luckily, you have the experience of caring for a newborn behind you. But big changes come when a new baby enters the family. With the right support and planning, you can help make the first few weeks with your new family member wonderful!