The Work of Play

A Mom Struggles to Learn Proper "Play" Technique

By Mary Kendall Brady

We have finally hit somewhat of a routine in our home. At 7 a.m., my 7-month old baby wakes us with a boisterous, if not menacing, cry. I shuffle into his room and take him downstairs to watch his Baby Bach video, his version of the morning paper. We watch the meditative, eye candy images move across the screen while I sip my coffee and try to wake up for a day of play. But once the video ends, my work really begins.

As a new mother, I am still struggling with what that work means. How do I play with my precious, mute, immobile son? I try what one friend calls "baby circuit training," which is basically the bouncy seat, activity center, swing and floor.

I plop Gabriel into his activity center and he has a blast, looking up at me ever so often with a sly smile, pauses, then thrashes his body into the frame of the saucer so the whole thing shakes and squeaks in a satisfyingly punk rock-ish manner. But the circuit runs its course after a time and I am faced with the hours of the day.

In search of something more exciting, I try other toys – toys that crinkle, toys with lights, toys that spin, stack, rattle and hum. They each have their 15 minutes of fame then become tedious to Gabriel's world.

My wonderfully anachronistic pediatrician tells me, "Don't buy any more toys. Interaction is what is best. Read with him, talk to him, interact!" She goes on to say Einstein never had all these fancy toys and look how special he was. I can't help but imagine Einstein in his own little activity center, spinning and bobbing away, all chuckles and electric hair.

But interaction is a nebulous term. What exactly does it mean? I assume it involves some type of verbal dance, so I try the monologue route. I start talking and talking at Gabriel. He just watches me in his thoughtful, observant way, his head cocked, his lips slightly curled in a smile as if to say, "Relax, Mommy. I love you even when you're not chattering away at me."

After a few minutes of this, my introverted system crashes and I need quiet time. The thing is, I think Gabriel needs quiet time too. His eyes avert; a tree is more interesting than his babbling mommy. It's time to suck on a pacifier and consider the lilies. Maybe interaction requires certain knowledge of each other, a knowledge of our daily ebbs and flows.

A pediatrician friend of mine tells me, "Stop trying too hard. He doesn't need to be entertained all day. Just let him be with you." And that is the rub. After being an active, career-minded doer, how can I practice this basic, yet counter-cultural skill of being

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• Brain Builders: Stimulating Activities for Your 3-Month-Old Baby
• Talk about it!