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Mother-in-Law
Friend or Foe?
By Jill Eggleton Brett
Judy, grandmother of three, has learned the art of being a supportive grandma over the years. "It has helped me to remind myself that I am not the mother, I'm the grandmother. My bottom line is often different than my daughter-in-law's bottom line when it comes to raising the children. But, as long as the children are not in danger, I should just concern myself with what kind of cookies I'm going to bake my little angels."
Lea reminds mothers-in-law that although it may be hard to keep your opinions to yourself, taking on a supportive role will benefit you in the long run. If you make yourself open to your daughter-in-law, offer a helping-hand, keep your mouth shut and your ears open, she may just surprise you. You may be the one she comes to with questions and concerns because of the supportive role you've taken on. Then you'll be able to lovingly dole out all the hard-earned wisdom and experience you've gained as a mother yourself.
Hang in there, daughters-in-law. Perhaps it's hard to imagine, but you and your mother-in-law are on the same team. You both want what's best for the baby, you just have different ideas on the specifics. Clear the air with a simple, focused conversation, while presenting parental unity with your husband. In the future when your mother-in-law does offer the occasional unsolicited advice, just return a gracious smile. After all, she mothered the man you chose to marry. Her ideas on childrearing can't be all that bad.
Want to see more?
- How to Cope With the Stress of New Parenthood
- Scrapbooking: Creatively Keeping Track of Baby's First Year
- Growing Up with Grandparents: Why You Should Make Your Parents Part of Your Child's Life
- Planting the Seed: Grandparents and Toddlers
- Grandma in Charge: When Grandparents Care for Kids
- Talk about it!
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