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Home › Articles › Family Life › Comparing Our Children

Comparing Our Children

Why We Shouldn't

By Julia Rosien

Pages:  1  2  3  

By comparing our children, we may push them into being bad just so they can be good at something. If a child only hears that his older sibling is wonderful and never hears anything positive about himself, he may look for attention – and even negative attention will suffice. If we focus on the child as an individual rather than on his accomplishments, we set him up for success.

Don't Become a Control Freak
If a child has good receptive language and is not using words, try focusing on what the child does use. If the child continually points and grunts when he wants something, acknowledge that as communication. While you are giving him what he wants, use your words to reinforce communication. Use a loving voice to encourage a response. Eventually the child will begin to repeat what you are saying. Children learn by mimicking and if they are not pressured, they will try to imitate you. If it becomes a power struggle between you and the child, the lesson becomes less about learning to speak and more about who has more control.

Each child has special qualities and unique needs. As parents, it is our job to find and encourage the special talents our children have. If a child knows how much he is valued as an individual, he will accept this and grow to understand that he is loved for who he is.

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