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Home for the Holidays

Celebrating Christmas With Your Newly Adopted Child

By Heather V. Long

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Families come together at Christmas and other holidays. Emphasizing cultural identity and sharing those traditions together provides strength for children, not only in adopted children but also in birth children. In families where there is a mixture of religion and culture, Groza suggests looking for the commonalities among the traditions and emphasizing those.

No matter how much you do or don't incorporate, there is no deficit, but only strength. It is the responsibility of parents to know their children and to fulfill their needs.

"It is one thing to think it all through intellectually, but the reality can be different and difficult," says Groza. "Holidays bring out these differences, but they also allow parents to adapt their parenting to the needs of the child. After the first holiday, the rest are easy because the pattern has already been set."

The Gliddens will be joining a group of carolers this year. The tradition of caroling has continued in the Ukraine since the ninth century, and she wants the boys to be a part of it. None of these traditions were kept up during their time at the orphanage.

 

Traditions
"I think it is very important to help a child understand about their native culture," says Champnella. "You want them to be proud of their heritage, as this will affect their self-esteem in the years to come. However, you do need to take cues from the child about how much to discuss this and be prepared to back off during the times when they are experiencing adjustment issues."

Traditions, whether they are being integrated from the child's culture or from a parent's upbringing, will eventually meld together to become a family tradition.

"I believe most families are comfortable raising a child in their traditions, but want to incorporate knowledge of their own cultures because they want their children to be proud of who they are," says Hochman. "It is important for children's self-esteem that they enjoy their family's traditions and way of life, but are also cognizant [of] and take pride in their own heritage."


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