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Holiday Muzak

Christmas Carol Craziness

By Teri Brown

Every year you will find me waiting in line for three hours to force my kids to get their picture taken on Santa's lap. My kids don't even believe in Santa anymore for crying out loud. "Mom," my daughter told me, "Santa has bad breath." "Then give him a breath mint!" I snapped. Maybe it's time you gave Santa something back for a change.

I received a fine from our friendly neighborhood association the first Christmas I tried to raise a goose. No barn animals in city limits. That's okay -- I wasn't sure how to dress a goose anyway, or a turkey for that matter. I have a hard enough time getting the kids dressed and out the door, let alone trying to dress up my food.

I like this one because it describes me perfectly. I dash here and I dash there. Here a dash, there a dash, everywhere a mad dash.

Am I the only person whose ceiling lowers itself by two feet every Christmas? Or whose kitties think the tree is a lovely gift just for them? We spent $80.00 on a tree stand last year. $80.00! And we still had to put a magazine under one leg ... go figure.

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