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Entering as a Husband

Exiting as a Father

By Jay Sauls

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Some of the information had warned me of "sympathy" pains. As much as you would like to experience everything your wife goes through, don't worry long and hard about it, because you will! If she is uncomfortable, you will be too. If she suddenly has insomnia, guess what! Surprise, surprise, so will you! You'll end up learning the late night cable programming. If she decides that salmon patties soaked in pickle brine are on the menu for dinner, I suggest you eat it. Trust me. A salmon thrown at high enough velocity will penetrate the door to the bathroom. The last thing you ever want to experience is having the paramedics revive you while you sit on the potty!

This is an evolutionary development from our early days on earth. Nature decided during the caveman era that our ancestors had too much fun while our women gave birth in cold, dark hovels and opted for a little payback. It used to be they just locked you out of the cave and let a wandering dinosaur have lunch at your expense. Now they drag us to malls and social events where we can be stripped of all our ego, beaten about on our pride and left mentally naked and crying in front of our friends! Welcome men to the world of pregnancy! We've only covered the first couple of months! Wait until the seventh and eighth month come along.


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