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Home › Articles › Sleep Issues › Is Three a Crowd?

Is Three a Crowd?

The Most Common Issues Concerning the Family Bed

By Armin Brott

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As hard as it may be to imagine, there exists a rather basic parenting issue that regularly generates even more controversy than circumcision or the disposable versus cloth diapers debate: whether or not to have your child sleep in the same bed as you and your partner.

Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on where you stand on the issue), there's absolutely no consensus on which view is the "right" one. And just to make sure that there's no real way to decide this issue once and for all, there's very little serious scientific data supporting either position.

Our older daughter slept in a bassinet in our room for a month or so until we moved her into her own room, and the middle one slept in bed with us for six months before being asked to leave. Personally, I kind of liked being able to snuggle up with a warm, smooth baby, but after being kicked in the head, stomach, back, face and chest every night for six months, I was glad to go back to an adults-only sleeping arrangement. My youngest also started off in our bed but moved to her own room after only six weeks or so.

Here are some of the most common issues that come up in discussions of the family bed:

Independence
Proponents of co-sleeping, or the family bed, point to the fact that in most countries (comprising about 80 percent of the world's population), parents and children sleep in the same bed. They claim that kids are being forced to be independent too early and that human evolution simply can't keep pace with the new demands our culture is placing on its children. They maintain that before a child can become independent she must feel that the world is a safe place and that her needs will be met. Kids who sleep in a family bed turn out to be more independent, more confident and more self-assured than those who don't, they say. Critics, however, say that what works in other countries doesn't always work here. In America, early independence is critical, and babies should therefore quickly learn to be away from their parents, especially if both work and the children have to be in daycare.

Sleep – The Baby's

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